Not Dany. She's magic. (Photo: HBO)

Valar morghulis. All men must die, and this week’s Game Of Thrones episode racked up the body count with the deaths of all the Dothraki khals, two Dothraki bloodriders, and one wildling. Here’s your weekly guide to the recently deceased:

Osha

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Who died? Osha, the wildling woman who fled south of the Wall in season one, only to be forced into service to the Starks after trying to steal young Bran’s horse in the woods outside Winterfell. Fiercely defiant, at first Osha resented her young charges but soon grew close with Bran Stark, whom she encouraged to develop his warging powers. Osha was last seen at the end of season three heading toward Castle Black with the youngest Stark child, Rickon, in an attempt to find and get help from his half-brother Jon Snow. They were betrayed by the Northern House of Umber, however, and returned to Winterfell, where they were presented as a gift to new Warden Of The North Ramsay Bolton.

How did they die? Stabbed in the neck by Ramsay Bolton, just before she could grab a leftover dinner knife and give the son of a bitch a taste of his own stabby medicine. Osha seemed to think that offering Ramsay sex would, at least temporarily, distract him from wanting to murder her—a fatal miscalculation.

How shocking was it? Hey, have you heard that Ramsay Bolton likes killing people? Because he really likes killing people. Jason Voorhees would tell this guy to take it easy at this point. Seems like someone at Winterfell has to go every week now, and considering that several A.V. Club staff members bet on her in last week’s dead pool, Osha’s death rates a 1 on a scale of “died peacefully in their sleep” (zero) to “eyes squished like grapes inside their skull” (5).

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How awesome was it? “Awesome” isn’t the right word. Is there a word that means “expected, but still disappointing on both a narrative and interpersonal level?” Maybe in German or something.

How much do we care? We always kind of liked Osha. She told it like it was. On a scale of “nameless mercenary” (zero) to “Jon Snow” (5), Osha gets a 3, partially because the actress that played her, Natalia Tena, was also in the Harry Potter movies. And that’s fun.

What does it mean for the show? It would have meant more back in season three, when Osha was actually a significant character. Regardless, this leaves Rickon Stark without his fiercest defender—whether she wanted to admit it or not—leaving him even more vulnerable to Ramsay’s murderous whims.

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Khal Moro

Who died? Khal Moro—leader of one of the nomadic khalasars that compose the Dothraki—was killed in the temple Vaes Dothrak. De facto leader of the khal council meeting to decide the fate of Daenerys Targaryen, Moro was an ally of Khal Drogo and was in Pentos when Daenerys and Drogo were presented to each other.

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How did they die? He, along with the other khals, was burned alive in Vaes Dothrak by Daenerys Targaryen.

How shocking was it? Once Daenerys unleashed her fury via fire, Moro wasn’t going to last long. More shocking was the whole act—a vengeful demigod showing zero mercy in her latest act to conquer Essos. It wasn’t the most shocking death ever on Game Of Thrones, but Dany once again taking charge by physical means—in this case, flesh-consuming fire—is a 5 for its “fuck yeah” factor.

How awesome was it? Considering that moments before his death by flame Khal Moro had been threatening Daenerys with gang rape, very awesome.

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How much do we care? We didn’t care much about the man Khal Moro. He’s just a character for Daenerys to dispose of on her way to domination. Still, he’s a 2 because he had a name and a personality (he seemed to be consistently undermined, whether from his bloodriders giving him shit that seeing a woman naked for the first time is not the greatest thing ever or from the other khals who thought Aggo’s death might be kind of a big deal).

What does it mean for the show? Nothing can stand in Daenerys’ way. Here’s a ruler who knows how to conquer. There’s not a doubt she’s in charge of the Dothraki now, having killed all the leaders, burned down their hut, and emerged theatrically and godlike from the flames. She’s not a khaleesi anymore; she’s the khaleesi.

Khal Rhalko

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Who died? Khal Rhalko—a leader of a Dothraki khalasar—was killed in Vaes Dothrak.

How did they die? He, along with the other khals, was burned alive in Vaes Dothrak by Daenerys Targaryen.

How shocking was it? All together, shocking for the fact that Daenerys burned a bunch of dudes alive. Khal Rhalko? He had it coming, what with his lecherous talk of what Daenerys tastes like. A 3 for “good riddance, Rhalko.”

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How awesome was it? He seemed to want to sell Daenerys to the masters of Yunkai, suggesting to the group that “one pink little girl” isn’t worth as much as 10,000 horses. He was shut down, and it was pretty cool to see all these assholes burn.

How much do we care? It was a cool scene, but not because a character we cared about died. Zero.

What does it mean for the show? It means nothing that Rhalko, specifically, is dead, but the fact that he and all his fellow khals were wiped out by Daenerys means there’s a new khal in town.

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Khal Forzo

Who died? Khal Forzo—a leader of a Dothraki khalasar—was killed in Vaes Dothrak.

How did they die? He, along with the other khals, were burned alive in Vaes Dothrak by Daenerys Targaryen.

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How shocking was it? Again, this khal’s death is a 3: shocking that he died along with the entire leadership of the Dothraki people.

How awesome was it? Khal Forzo made a funny joke about how Khal Rhalko could suck his dick to find out what Daenerys tastes like. It’s too bad this witty banter had to die along with these guys. Take note, gentlemen: Even the funniest of dick jokes don’t go over well with a woman who’s unbothered by flames—or for women who are bothered by flames, for that matter.

How much do we care? Khal Forzo’s big presence and personality don’t translate to big feelings about his death—sorry Forzo, you’re a zero.

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What does it mean for the show? All hail the khaleesi.

Aggo and pal

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Who died? Two Dothraki warriors, one unnamed and one named Aggo—not to be confused with Daenerys Targaryen’s bloodrider Aggo, who appeared briefly in season two—were killed after drunkenly stumbling into an alleyway the night before the fateful khalar vezhven, when the great temple of Vaes Dothrak was burned to the ground.

How did they die? Killed by Ser Jorah Mormont and Daario Naharis after they snuck into the sacred city under cover of darkness. The Dothraki quickly realized that the foreigners were not wine traders, as they claimed, leading to hand-to-hand combat between the four men. Aggo was about to overpower Ser Jorah when Daario stepped in, killing the Dothraki with a stiletto dagger hidden in his clothing; bladed weapons are forbidden in the scared city, so Daario then finished the job by bashing Aggo’s head in with a rock, so as to not arouse undue levels of suspicion.

How shocking was it? Come on, like those two would have been able to make it all the way to the Dosh Khaleen using nothing but their wits. This isn’t Tyrion and Varys we’re talking about here. A big fat goose egg.

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How awesome was it? The reveal of Daario’s dagger and the subsequent head-crushing was a great moment of (black) comedy, which can sometimes be few and far between on Game Of Thrones. So that was awesome.

How much do we care? Aggo was a member of Khal Moro’s khalasar, but he’s dead now, too. So these two rate a zero.

What does this mean for the show? Nothing more than a brief chapter in the blossoming bromance between Jorah and Daario.

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