Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Friday, December 6, and Saturday, December 7. All times are Eastern.
Borgen (LinkTV, 1 a.m., Saturday): Guess what, everybody? It’s the final episode of Borgen, probably ever, which means you won’t have it to kick around anymore when you’re trying to show us how dumb we are for not covering Show X when we already cover Borgen, and that show probably only gets five readers, right? (It actually gets far more than that, but thank you. We appreciate it.) Well, now that the show’s ending, what little-read series will you pick on next? Todd VanDerWerff is very ashamed of your behavior, on the behalf of the entire nation of Denmark.
Grimm (NBC, 9 p.m., Friday): There’s an apparent case of demonic possession involving the Wesen Council, so Nick and Hank have to take a look at that. If “take a look at” means “do an elaborate homage to The Exorcist,” then we’re on board with that completely. Kevin McFarland will bring the pea soup.
Raising Hope (Fox, 9 p.m., Friday): This show hasn’t done a Rear Window homage yet? Well, that sure seems to be what’s going to happen, as Burt thinks something suspicious—perhaps murderously suspicious—is going on with his neighbor. Phil Dyess-Nugent pays homage to Rear Window weekly.
Comedy Bang! Bang! (IFC, 10 p.m., Friday): It’s “bring your kids to work day” on the show, which means it’s time for Jason Schwartzman to visit. We assume this makes sense because he’s actually Reggie’s son, but you guys wouldn’t understand it. David Sims is drawing you some space-time continuum diagrams.
Saturday Night Live (NBC, 11:30 p.m., Saturday): Between Paul Rudd and One Direction, this is the episode for that bored suburban soccer mom in your life, who worries that her best days are behind her and lives vicariously through her 12-year-old daughter. That description fits David Sims to a T.
Last Man Standing (ABC, 8 p.m., Friday): Why does Todd VanDerWerff do this to us? Why does he insist on trying to pretend these multi-camera sitcoms are good because, on some level, he misses his own childhood? When will he release us and stop pretending this Tim Allen vehicle doesn’t suck? Damn him.
TV CLUB CLASSIC
The X-Files (1 p.m., Saturday): Smack dab in the late portion of its eighth season, The X-Files unleashed one of the best mythology episodes it had come up with in years with “Vienen,” just one of the two delightful hours of television that Todd VanDerWerff will be reviewing this week. Go, go, black oil!
Doctor Who (Classic) (3 p.m., Saturday): In “Terror Of The Zygons,” the Doctor takes a trip to Loch Ness. But we’re betting that instead of meeting Nessie, he meets some Zygons instead. That’s really too bad. Christopher Bahn would have loved to have seen what this show made of his spirit animal, Nessie.
WHAT ELSE IS ON
Frosty The Snowman (CBS, 8 p.m., Friday): Is it weird that we’ve never covered this one in the Advent Calendar? That’s a little weird, right? Anyway, this is the annual broadcast, and we’ll be the first ones there to sing along with Mr. Jimmy Durante. Hit us if we get stuck on the “thumpity thump thumps.”
Styled To Rock (Bravo, 8 p.m., Friday): We didn’t even know this show—which is apparently about stylists to the music stars?—existed, but there you have it. Anyway, this week, the guest is The Band Perry, who probably wishes this was What Not To Wear: Music Star Edition just as much as we do.
Wander Over Yonder (Disney Channel, 9 p.m. Friday): We made a list of all of the great new TV shows of 2013, and the first thing somebody asked us about that list—which was almost 25 deep!—was “Where’s Wander Over Yonder?” Well, we haven’t seen it, but we can put it into What’s On Tonight!
The Grammy Nominations Concert Live—Countdown To Music’s Biggest Night (CBS, 10 p.m., Friday): Judging from the guest list for this special, “Blurred Lines” is going to be nominated for a bunch of Grammys. We’re not sure how we feel about that. It was catchy, sure, but best song of the year? No.
Top 40 Of 2013 (Fuse, 7 p.m., Saturday): Sure, we gave you our top 23 albums of the year yesterday, but who cares what we think when you could turn, instead, to one of the less-watched music channels to find out the top 40 songs of the year that people actually listened to? Nobody cares, that’s who.
Food Factory (Biography, 9 p.m., Saturday): Having run out of interesting people to talk about, Biography has moved on to telling us the life stories of the delicious foods whose short lives will end in our bellies. Tonight’s topics include fortune cookies, jellybeans, and the American obesity epidemic.
Dave (TV Guide Network, 8 p.m., Friday): Hey, we just looked this movie up on Wikipedia the other day because we couldn’t remember how it ended! Kevin Kline is charming, as always, while Sigourney Weaver is a more than perfect foil for him. Rewatch this one and remember just how fun of a movie it is.
Four Christmases (TBS, 8 p.m., Friday): A couple of years ago, What’s On Tonight’s brother- and sister-in-law were all, “Hey, do you want to go see Four Christmases?” to What’s On Tonight and What’s On Tonight’s wife, and we were all, “Eh, probably not.” Did we make the right choice, oh gentle readers?
Synecdoche, New York (Sundance, 8 p.m., Saturday): This movie is the shit. We have this plan to do a Spike Jonze/Charlie Kaufman movie marathon over New Year’s, roping in Jonze’s terrific Her, as well, and this movie is going to be a centerpiece. Fie on you if you do not like it! Fie!
College Hockey: Massachusetts at Notre Dame (NBC Sports, 7 p.m., Friday): We don’t know the first thing about college hockey, so we’re going to fill out this space by writing “hockey” over and over again. Hockey. Hockey. Hockey. Hockey. Hockey. Hockey. Hockey. Hockey. Hockey. Hockey. Hockey. Hockey.
Big Ten Football Championship: Michigan State at Ohio State (Fox, 8 p.m., Saturday): Hey, remember how until that Alabama and Auburn game last week, the Michigan/Ohio State game was the biggest thing going? Well, this is absolutely not that, but you could pretend it was by erasing that “State.”
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
The Returned (Thursday): What’s up with everybody’s favorite French zombies? Erik Adams knows that there’s nothing but good things happening for them! Why, this week, there’s some clairvoyant prostitutes about to give the sorrowful an orgasm and a chance to speak to dead loved ones!