Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Monday, January 14. All times are Eastern.

The Carrie Diaries (The CW, 9 p.m.):
You act like you don’t want to see the story of what it was like when Carrie Bradshaw was a teenager in 1980s Connecticut, with everybody’s favorite Sex And The City protagonist essayed by AnnaSophia Robb, but deep down, you know you want to a little bit, if only because if this is successful, maybe the producers of the parent series will awkwardly CGI Carrie’s new high school friends into the end of the SATC series finale, nodding their approval as she runs off to her new life. Todd VanDerWerff will be there nodding right along with them.


Adventure Time (Cartoon Network, 7:30 p.m.):
“Finn is hailed as a hero everywhere he goes,” says the plot summary from TV Guide, and we have to say it’s about time that happened. Finn’s been giving of himself to these people for so long, and for what? For the occasional good grade from Oliver Sava?

How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8 p.m.): Two characters are engaged now—and if you can do math, you can figure out which two, but we’re not going to spoil, not us—and now the one has to ask the other’s father for permission. Donna Bowman has had enough of your gender-based “rituals,” HIMYM!


Regular Show (Cartoon Network, 8 p.m.): The guys go looking for fireworks for an event. Now, they’re gonna want to get some bottle rockets, probably a few snappers, maybe even a sparkler or two. Smoke bombs? Black Cats? Sure. Alasdair Wilkins cautions them not to get black snakes, though. Those suck.

Switched At Birth (ABC Family, 8 p.m.): This show is doing an episode entirely in American Sign Language, and we’re so excited to hear that that we’re going to cover this at least through that point. Carrie Raisler warns you to keep reading and commenting, though, because we are pretty merciless.

Bunheads (ABC Family, 8 p.m.): Liza Weil—from Gilmore Girls, coming to your TV Club Classic in the next few weeks—turns up to hang out with Amy Sherman-Palladino again, and the episode is entitled “Channing Tatum Is A Fine Actor.” Erik Adams agrees and would have nominated him for an Oscar.


Batman: The Animated Series (1 p.m.):
This week’s episode is called “Growing Pains,” which seems like a great chance to talk about how we got to see Alan Thicke recently, and he looked hale and hearty. We know that Oliver Sava’s been worried about that, so we just wanted to take this chance to let him know.

Continuum/Being Human/Lost Girl (Syfy, 8 p.m.):
It’s a night of Canadian imports on Syfy, all of which we might cover but probably won’t. Alasdair Wilkins drops in for a new time travel drama, Phil Dyess-Nugent hangs out with monsters one last time, and Kevin McFarland sees what the Fae are up to now.


Oliver Stone’s Untold History Of The United States (Showtime, 8 p.m.): The acclaimed director finally catches up with the present in the last installment of his documentary miniseries. Exactly like the original plan for the short-lived alien show Dark Skies, as you’d know if you’d read the show’s bible, duh.

Shipwreck Men (Discovery, 9 p.m.): Discovery’s hungry quest for pirate gold now encompasses yet another series, in which a bunch of dudes dive down to salvage stuff from shipwrecks off the Florida coast. Sadly, it is not a show about men who try to get in shipwrecks. Which would be awesome.

Hawaii Five-0 (CBS, 10 p.m.): Did you like our recent Memory Wipe about the Choose Your Own Adventure books? Then you just might enjoy this new episode of everybody’s favorite “solving crimes in Hawaii” show, which will allow viewers to choose the ending. Will 1-800 numbers be involved?


Swingers (Cinemax, 8:15 p.m.): This loose, enjoyable buddy comedy gave the world Vince Vaughan, Jon Favreau, Ron Livingston, and director Doug Liman, among others. It also gave us that period when all of those people just kept saying things were “money,” a period that lasted for some until the year 2007.

What Lies Beneath (TCM, 9 p.m.): Stretching its definition of “classic” just a bit, TCM opts to air this Harrison Ford/Michelle Pfeiffer ghost story from 2000 for some reason or another. Perhaps the network has decided to celebrate the works of Robert Zemeckis. Or perhaps it’s being redefined! Freak out!

Australian Open: Early-round play (ESPN2, 9 p.m.): Thanks to the magic of what you humans call “time zones,” you can watch these early matches in one of the four biggest tennis tournaments. Except in “Australia,” it will be “day,” and it will also be “summer,” because “Australia” is a backwards land.


Downton Abbey (Sunday):
Downton still has all of the same flaws as Sonia Saraiya diagnosed in the third season premiére, but she seems more okay with them, maybe because she’s made her peace with them. Well, except for the checked-out-edness of Dan Stevens’ performance. Nobody’s okay with that!