Absolutely no one died on last week’s Game Of Thrones, leaving almost all of The A.V. Club’s dead pool betters totally boned. Only Maester Josh Modell came out ahead, betting on the under and earning himself a fat, fake $40. Hopefully, this week will prove bloodier, with the HBO preview showing tense standoffs between all manner of important Westerosi families. As always, nationally syndicated columnist and America’s Line owner Benjamin Eckstein is here to help us suss out who’s the odds-on favorite to perish and who might just make it through to the very end.
2-1 The Mountain
3-1 The Hound
The oddsmaker says: I think this is the death match week. Their fight should be on pay-per-view it’s going to be so good. I would pay $39.99 to watch The Mountain fight The Hound.
The A.V. Club says: When exactly is Cersei’s trial by combat happening? Not soon enough, by our estimation. Still, if it was this week, you’d think they would have shown a hint of it in the trailer.
5-1 Septa Unella
The oddsmaker says: I want to see her go so badly. I so dislike her. I don’t know if it’s going to be this week, though.
The A.V. Club says: Our High Sparrow sentiments apply here, too, though she does pop up behind Margaery in some promo pictures. With her in the Red Keep, anything can happen.
5-1 Any Tully
The oddsmaker says: Everybody is headed their way. Somebody’s going to get a piece of them, and it very well could be this week.
The A.V. Club says: This is our favorite for the week. Edmure has a Stark target on his back and the Blackfish is unreliable. Get them out of there.
5-1 Loras Tyrell
The oddsmaker says: He’s so damn annoying, and nobody cares. I just don’t like him.
The A.V. Club says: Is he getting out of jail now that Margaery and Tommen are playing ball with the High Sparrow, or is he going to have to turn Faith Militant?
5-1 The Waif
The oddsmaker says: Next week she’s going to be the favorite. This week, she’ll probably survive, because the name of next week’s episode is “No One,” which tells me the Waif and Arya are going to have it out.
The A.V. Club says: That’s a solid use of available information, and that seems about right.
10-1 The High Sparrow
The oddsmaker says: I was crushed when the Kingslayer went up the stairs on his horse and didn’t lop his head off.
The A.V. Club says: He’s not in this week’s trailer, but that doesn’t mean he might not get it. 10-1 seems about right.
10-1 Tommen Baratheon
The oddsmaker says: It looks like the little mama’s boy is going to hang around until Margaery kills him. They want House Tyrell to take over, and she’s got something up her sleeve. There’s no way she’s found religion.
The A.V. Club says: While that’s probably true about Margaery and the Tyrells, it’s pretty clear she can manipulate the shit out of him. He’s a terrible, weak character, but he’s probably hanging in there.
10-1 Any of the Greyjoys
The oddsmaker says: It’s a family thing, and it’s good for the family.
The A.V. Club says: Whether it’s Aeron, Yara, or Theon, someone’s got to go eventually.
25-1 Davos Seaworth
The oddsmaker says: Where in the world is Davos? He’s been a nonstarter these past few weeks.
The A.V. Club says: That’s true, but he’s on the road with Jon and Sansa now, and things can get hairy in Westeros when you’re not on your home turf.
25-1 Jaime Lannister
The oddsmaker says: I’m so disappointed in the Kingslayer. I almost cried. Even oddsmakers cry.
The A.V. Club says: He’s one of the faces of the franchise, so he’s probably not going anywhere any time soon.
25-1 Olenna Tyrell
The oddsmaker says: Once again: Diana Rigg. Need I say more?
The A.V. Club says: In the preview, she’s hating on Cersei. That could prove deadly.
25-1 Lothar Frey and/or Walder Rivers
The oddsmaker says: If they weren’t so dumb, they’d have better odds.
The A.V. Club says: Indeed they are dumb. These odds are mighty tempting.
50-1 Cersei Lannister
The oddsmaker says: It won’t happen this week, but she could go within the next three episodes. She still has some work to do as well.
The A.V. Club says: She can’t die until she has some devious plot in place, and that doesn’t appear to have happened yet. Then again, we don’t see everything.
The oddsmaker says: Where the hell has he been? He’s not going to just come back and die. I have inside information that he’s not going to go this week.
The A.V. Club says: Bronn seems pretty much invincible. If nothing else, he has to reunite with Tyrion at some point, and that’s not happening just yet.
50-1 Tormund Giantsbane
The oddsmaker says: That’s not happening until the big battles. He still needs to get into bed with Brienne Of Tarth. Plus, I love his new commercial, even if I can’t look at him the same way.
The A.V. Club says: It’s hard to say. No one’s ever really safe, and 50-1 is some pretty tempting odds.
50-1 Margaery Tyrell
The oddsmaker says: She is so sneaky, and she has some big-time work to do. She’s not going anywhere right now.
The A.V. Club says: We agree. She’s sticking around. The only person who can take her down is Cersei.
75-1 No one on our list
The oddsmaker says: Someone’s going to the death house. We didn’t get anyone last week, and the fingerprints of death are all over this week.
The A.V. Club says: Just because someone’s dying doesn’t mean we have them on our list. We’re fallible, and we absolutely could have forgotten someone.
100-1 Arya Stark
The oddsmaker says: No more Stark deaths, please. I can’t take it.
The A.V. Club says: Arya’s got Needle back, and she’s willing to use it.
Over/under on total deaths: 5.5
5-1 Bran, Jon Snow, and Sansa end up together at the end of the season.
3-1 Jon Snow will find a dragon inside the wall and ride it. It’ll spit ice instead of fire.
3-1 Rickon’s direwolf did not really die. It’s a trick!
3-1 Daenerys Targaryen sleeps with Khal Moro and then kills him. (Nope. —ed.)
6-5 The Hound comes back to life.
Our picks this week are:
John Teti ($1,426 in his bank): $100 on any Tully, $100 on Lothar Frey or his buddy, $35 on Tommen, $63 on Olenna Tyrell, $10 on nobody from the list
Nick Wanserski ($515): $50 on under, $50 on no one, $20 on Septa, $40 on any Tully
Katie Rife ($505): $40 on any Tully. “That’s it. I lost a lot of money last week.”
Marah Eakin ($383): $100 on any Tully, $10 on Septa, $40 on Lothar Frey or Walder Rivers, $10 on no one. “Any Tully? I’ll take it.”
Erik Adams ($375): $50 on the under, $20 on any Tully, and $20 on the Waif
Josh Modell ($245): $100 on the under, $10 on Olenna Tyrell, $20 on no one on our list, $20 on the Waif
Caity PenzeyMoog ($230): $20 on any Tully, $10 on Olenna Tyrell, $10 on Bronn, $20 on Lothar Frey and/or Walder Rivers, $20 on no one on our list, $20 on the under. “Casting a nice wide net.”
Alex McCown ($205): $50 on the Waif, $20 on any Tully, $20 on Lothar Frey or buddy
Danette Chavez ($70): $10 on the Waif
David Anthony ($40): $40 on any Tully
One quick note: Benjamin Eckstein has extended an invitation to anyone who’d like to come to Vegas and participate in a “shame walk” with him along the strip one hour before the Thrones season finale, whenever that is. He’ll be using his much-beloved app and invites everyone else to do the same. Interested parties can hit him up on Twitter.