Ferrell Takes The Field (HBO, 10 p.m., Saturday): Looking to match the record of baseball great Bert Campaneris (and to amiably screw around for an hour), Will Ferrell sets out to play all nine positions for ten different, very obliging major league teams in a single spring training day. If the concept of Ferrell pulling the legendary “conceptual comedy Plimpton” isn’t enough to amuse you, then the fact that all proceeds of this HBO special are going to fight cancer might earn a few charitable laughs. But, considering how Ferrell’s commitment to oddball projects has paid off over the years, you can probably count on laughing for real and donating your unused pity laughs to the cause. Erik Adams is oiling up his baseball glove for the review. Also his comedy glove. You have to oil those.
Think It Up (ABC, CBS, Fox, NBC, 8 p.m., Friday): That this one-hour special (featuring the likes of Stephen Colbert, Kristen Bell, Scarlett Johansson, Matthew McConaughey, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jeremy Renner, Ryan Seacrest and Jessica Williams) is being broadcast on all four major broadcast networks simultaneously is, as it’s sponsor The Entertainment Industry Foundation claims, simply “a new movement in support of the nation’s students, teachers and schools, helping generate excitement about learning everywhere in America and building a sense of optimism about the changes under way in classrooms across the country.” It is not—repeat, not—in any way part of some diabolical mind control scheme that depends on all of America watching the same program at the same time. See—here’s a clip:
Blunt Talk (Starz, 9 p.m., Saturday): Walter would like to be a better father to his youngest son, but the news that his ex-wife is dating a rock star sends him into a tizzy. Of course, it doesn’t take much to send Walter into a tizzy. Brandon Nowalk hopes that his review doesn’t set Patrick Stewart off—he just couldn’t handle that sort of noise.
Survivor’s Remorse (Starz, 9:30 p.m., Saturday): Joshua Alston’s been telling us all that this series—about a young NBA player and his family—is underrated stuff. If you’re not listening to Josh, then, well, that’s on you. Tonight, Cam is stressed about his first game back in Boston, possibly worried that Celtics legend Dave Cowens will leap out of the stands and cream him going for a loose ball. Always a 10-20 per cent chance of that happening at any given time.
TV all-star utility infielder Chris Parnell answers Marah Eakin’s 11 Questions, possibly including a “fuck, marry, kill” about Lana, Pam, and Carol/Cheryl/Cherlene. Then, why not hop over to the film division to check out Ignatiy Vishnevetsky’s Watch This take on the gloriously overblown romantic epic, director Leos Carax’s The Lovers On The Bridge, a modestly conceived French romance that swelled to become the most expensive French film ever. (Ignatiy says it was totally worth it.) The stop by Erik Adams’ Walkthrough with Andrew Gurland, creator of the very underrated FX sort-of sitcom Married. And, in this week’s AVQ&A, your favorite A.V. Clubbers reveal perhaps too much when they give up the times they finally realized some pop culture fact that everyone else in the world clearly already knew. Just have the following clip cued up for every entry:
Masters Of Illusion (CW, 8 p.m., Friday): Magicians Ed Alonzo, Rick Thomas, Michael Grandinetti, Johnny Ace Palmer, Barry and Stuart, Les Arnold and Dazzle, and Michael Turco collectively want to know, “Is this your card?”
Casino Royale (BBC America, 8 p.m., Friday): Remember when we thought Mads Mikkelsen was menacing just because he cried blood and clobbered Daniel Craig’s testes?
Strike Back (Cinemax, 10 p.m., Friday): Wait, it turns out [redacted] is actually a secret agent for [country redacted], and [gender redacted] is planning to torture Scott and Stonebridge? That is some cold [redacted].
Z Nation (Syfy, 10 p.m., Friday): Syfy’s very own zombie apocalypse series returns! In the second season premiere, our ragged band of heroes continue to try to sneak the cure for the whole zombie thing past some even more raggedy walking dead. While it’s no Walking Dead, our own LaToya Ferguson once said it ain’t so bad as all that.
Continuum (Syfy, 11 p.m., Friday): The fourth season of this Canadian time-traveling detective series kicks off as bad guys from the future come back to present-day Vancouver to hunt down Keira and maybe catch a Canucks game.
The Stand (El Rey, noon, Saturday): Because Robert Rodriguez loves Stephen King, his network is playing all six hours of this 1994 miniseries adaptation of King’s doorstop of a post-apocalyptic novel. And then he’s playing at again at 8 p.m.! You cannot escape.
College Football: Oregon At Michigan State (ABC, 8 p.m., Saturday): Strangely, ducks put up a decent fight against Spartans. You’d think that would just be a massacre, really.
Cedar Cove (Hallmark, 8 p.m., Saturday): “Hey mom? Remember when I’d stay home on Saturday nights and watch that Hallmark Channel show and then go to my room and draw pictures of a smiling, toothy judge lady, and herbal teas, and roll-neck sweaters? Well, I’ve been talking to some people online who watched the show too, and it turns out we’ve all been drawing the same pictures and having dreams about dating a handsome but troubled recovered alcoholic who edits the local newspaper.” “But, honey—whenever I looked in on you at 8 p.m. on Saturdays, you were just sitting there staring at a blank TV screen for an hour.” “Wha? No… no… NOOOOOO!!!”
The Murder Pact (Lifetime, 8 p.m., Saturday): Four rich socialites try to cover up an accidental death, but then start receiving I Know What You Did Last Summer hints that someone’s saying I Know Who You Are And I Saw What You Did. Hmm—this may be sort of derivative, come to think of it.
College Football: LSU At Mississippi State (ESPN, 9:15 p.m., Saturday): Tigers versus bulldogs? Again, on paper…
Documentary Now: If there’s something like a perfect parody, it might be this episode where Bill Hader, Fred Armisen, and co-writer (with Hader) John Mulaney, an impeccable riff on Errol Morris’ The Thin Blue Line. Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya gave it an A. You should listen to Kayla.