Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Wednesday, November 27. All times are Eastern.

Nature (PBS, 8 p.m.):
What’s on tonight? Nothing that we cover, that’s for goddamn sure. But you know what is on tonight? Motherfuckin’ birds. PBS is rerunning a Nature episode about what it’s like to be a turkey—not very good around this time of year, ha ha—followed by another one, which features the dulcet tones of Paul Giamatti explaining to everyone what it’s like to be a duck. But then the network finishes the night up with an episode about deer, like it’s never even heard of proper marathon programming. Get us an episode about geese in there somewhere, PBS. Then we’ll talk.


Survivor (CBS, 8 p.m.):
Actually, Survivor is also new, but we just made that—and Carrie Raisler’s coverage of same—Top Pick last week, and, c’mon, you guys. Turkeys really need a win right now.

Mad Men (1 p.m.):
Todd VanDerWerff has been plagued by low TV Club Classic readership numbers on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving for years. What does he do: Take that day off like a chump? Never! He’s going to pit Breaking Bad against Mad Men in pointless battle, seeking sweet, sweet pageviews.


Lego Star Wars: The Yoda Chronicles (Cartoon Network, 8 p.m.):
The pickings are slim on cable, too, unless you like movies (who likes movies?) or sports (what are we: Columbus Blue Jackets fans?). But here’s a new episode of this occasional series that’s like the Robot Chicken Star Wars specials for kids.

The Making Of The Sound Of Music Live/Saturday Night Thanksgiving (NBC, 8 p.m.): NBC, meanwhile, is filling the evening with promotional material for its other programming, like a small-town newspaper that doesn’t want to fill that last page and just slaps a giant house ad in there. Good on ya, NBC!


The X Factor (Fox, 8 p.m.): And Fox is pretending people still care about The X Factor!

Restaurant Stakeout (Food Network, 9 p.m.): Maybe in five or six years we can get Another Restaurant Stakeout. Regardless, this is one of the few new cable offerings tonight. You’re going to like it.

The Real Housewives Of Atlanta (Bravo, 9:50 p.m.): This is the much-dreaded “episode featuring social media content.” We’ve seen that pop up in so many cable reality show programming guides, yet we’ve never ventured to actually watch one of these episodes to see what that actually means.


Bible Secrets Revealed (History, 10 p.m.): Balaam’s ass didn’t actually talk to him. That was an audio-animatronic creation from Disney’s Imagineering department, voiced by Peter Sarsgaard. The more you know!

Race For Your Life, Charlie Brown/Snoopy, Come Home/Bon Voyage, Charlie (And Don't Come Back)/A Boy Named Charlie Brown (ABC Family, 4 p.m.): ABC Family is airing all of these, but all out of order, so don’t count on being able to follow the complicated storylines that dart between the four films.

Gone With The Wind (AMC, 8 p.m.): AMC just realized this movie is over 100 hours long, and airing it will take the network right up to the Walking Dead finale Sunday night. They just need somebody to sit in the control room and switch out the videotape when the film gets to the halfway point.


Planes, Trains, & Automobiles (The CW, 8 p.m.): Of all of the networks that are just giving up tonight, The CW has done the best job by far. Congratulations, CW. You win.

NBA Basketball: Heat at Cavaliers (ESPN, 7:30 p.m.): “The Heat are on a 10-1 run against LeBron James’ former Cleveland squad,” says TV Guide’s summary for the game, as if that weren’t adding insult to injury. Thanks a lot, TV Guide.

NHL Hockey: Bruins at Red Wings (NBC Sports, 7:30 p.m.): Maybe tonight’s the night What’s On Tonight figures out why it loves hockey in person but can’t stand watching it on TV. Maybe tonight. (Probably not tonight.)


Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Tuesday):
Other networks might have taken the Tuesday before Thanksgiving off, but not Fox. Fox soldiered bravely forward, offering up a full slate of comedies for America—which was driving somewhere last night—to ignore. But Molly Eichel didn’t ignore them. She’s always watching.