Conversation around the eminently water-cooler friendly Bachelor and Bachelorette franchise falls into two parts: going over the sordid details of the latest episode, and talking over what’s coming next. Who will win? Who will get next week’s one-on-one date? Whose side do you take in this season’s feud? (There’s always a feud.)
There’s a small but hard core of Bachelorette watchers at The A.V. Club and the wider Onion Inc. offices, so we’re turning our casual chatter into an official betting forum. Our Vegas-style odds are provided by Benjamin Lee Eckstein, Bachelor/Bachelorette fan and a nationally syndicated odds maker and owner of America’s Line, a betting odds website. Each week, he gives us the odds on what will happen in next week’s episode of Bachelorette, along with his rationale behind the odds. Our staffers will place their bets, competing with fake money for swag yet to be determined. (Roses? A ring? Abject heartbreak? Who knows?!) You’re welcome to play along.
2-1 DeMario leaves
20-1 DeMario stays
The oddsmakers says: DeMario staying is what we professionals call “the long shot.”
The A.V. Club says: His photo has gone from color to black and white on ABC’s site, which wouldn’t have happened unless he was really gone. Unless it’s a clever ruse…
50-1 DeMario is the next bachelor
100-1 DeMario plays for the Bulls next year
The oddsmaker says: Those other guys were so bad that DeMario seemed better than he was.
The A.V. Club says: He did seem pretty good. Sure? As for next year’s bachelor: After Nick became last season’s bachelor, anything can happen.
2-1 Jonathan is eliminated
The oddsmaker says: Jonathan is 31 years old and his crawl underneath his name is “Tickle Monster.” I can’t deal with that. You’re 31 years old… maybe in the 3 to 5 age range that’s fine, but at 31 years old that’s absurd.
The A.V. Club says: Wholeheartedly agree.
2-1 Blake is eliminated
The oddsmaker says: He’s a whiner. They always do this on Bachelorette/Bachelor where they pick two people and there’s a bad guy. His thing is “Aspiring Drummer.” My thing is Blake, when you’re 31, you should have already aspired. And it didn’t seem like he and Rachel have much of a connection.
The A.V. Club says: The Lucas/Blake feud is nowhere near to coming to a close. He’ll stick around.
3-1 Lucas/Whaboom is eliminated
The oddsmaker says: No other reason than “whaboom.” Maybe one of the most annoying people I’ve seen on the show, and I’ve watched most of all the 16 seasons.
The A.V. Club says: Again, more feuding is necessary.
5-1 Kenny the wrestler is eliminated
The oddsmaker says: Two reasons: There’s nothing there, spark-wise. And it just seems like she’s not ready to step into the life of a mother of a 10-year-old girl, is how I read it.
The A.V. Club says: I agree that the whole “I’m a father” angle sounds great on paper, but the reality isn’t all that attractive. But more importantly, there seems to be little chemistry between the two. Still, Kenny is a strong contender for going far into the show thanks to his solid innocuousness—he’ll probably make it to the final eight or thereabout.
6-1 Alex is eliminated
The oddsmaker says: Alex is just flatter than a dead carp. There’s no connection between him and Rachel.
The A.V. Club says: Alex is very forgettable, which doesn’t bode well.
8-1 the field
The oddsmaker says: This is all the other schmoes in here. And there’s a lot of schmoes.
The A.V. Club says: There are a lot of schmoes. Casting a wide net is a safe bet.
Everyone starts with $100 fake Bachelorette Bucks. Once you lose all your money, you’ll be asked to take a moment and say your goodbyes. Correct bets are added to the running total, and can be bet again next week.
This week’s picks are:
Caity PenzeyMoog, A.V. Club deputy managing editor: $50 on DeMario leaving; $5 on Dean for the one-on-one; $20 on the field. “It’s too early for big money on specifics, but creating a cliffhanger out of DeMario is certainly setting up a big scene where he leaves, again.”
Alex McLevy, A.V. Club assistant editor: $40 on DeMario leaves; $40 on the field; $10 on Dean for the one-on-one. “There’s no way in hell Rachel keeps DeMario’s lying, ‘did I do that?’-level stupidity around the house.”
Meg Brett, A.V. Club social media manager: $40 on DeMario leaving; $10 on Josiah getting the next one-on-one; $15 on Jonathan being eliminated. “His tickling schtick is a new level of creepy for The Bachelorette.”
Julia Nelson, A.V. Club social media coordinator: $50 on DeMario leaving; $20 on Blake being eliminated; $10 on Josiah for the one-on-one. ““To keep DeMario on would be to admit to Nick-keeping-Corrine-around-level ignorance.”
Stephanie Potakis, Onion Inc. casting director: $50 DeMario leaves; $10 Jonathan is eliminated; $10 on the field; $20 on Josiah for the one-on-one. “Jonathan kinda of creeps me out in general so this is just hopeful thinking, and Josiah cause she seems really into his ‘protectiveness.’”
Cameron Lowe, Onion Inc. software engineer: $50 DeMario goes bye-bye; $10 on Blake being eliminated; $30 on the field; $10 on Dean getting the one-on-one. “Grovel and go is probably the most entertaining way to finish DeMario out. He dodged it before by just throwing his hands up and saying ‘pretty nuts, huh?’ Gimme that sweet sweet payoff.”
Lauren Welke, Onion Inc. casting assistant: $10 on DeMario worming his way back in; $20 on Josiah getting the one-on-one with a heavy make-out sesh. “…Is it 7 yet?”