Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

We have very cautious Glee optimism, because we'll never learn

Illustration for article titled We have very cautious Glee optimism, because we'll never learn

Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Tuesday, January 31. All times are Eastern.

Glee (Fox, 8 p.m.): Let’s all just pretend for a moment that Glee isn’t having a pretty hit-and-miss (and we’re being charitable to call it that) season. Let’s pretend that Entertainment Weekly is accurate when it says the show is on a “strong streak.” Because we’d really, really like tonight’s Michael Jackson tribute episode to be good. Michael Jackson’s songs are awesome, of course, and the show has had the occasional pretty good tribute episode. (Well, by “occasional,” we mean, “It had one back in season one.” We need to stop doing this.) Anyway, Todd VanDerWerff has his fingers crossed. Because it would be nice to be excited for this show again.

Switched At Birth (ABC Family, 8 p.m.): This show’s propensity for naming episodes after great works of art always makes us think the episodes are going to be weird, sci-fi/religious mumbo jumbo, instead of family drama. The things Carrie Raisler could do with a title like “Expulsion From The Garden Of Eden”!


New Girl (Fox, 9 p.m.): In this episode, “Jess & Julia,” Jess works her way through the complete works of Julia Child, then writes a blog about it, then writes a book, then writes another book in which butchery stands in for a marriage in turmoil. Or she flounces about, looking cute. Erik Adams is fine with either.

Ringer (The CW, 9 p.m.): Holy shit, do you guys remember this show? Do you remember how Sarah Michelle Gellar was going to return to television to save us all from boring shows or monsters or something? And then it was just a boring old soap? Carrie Raisler wishes she could forget this mess.

Raising Hope (Fox, 9:30 p.m.): It’s been decades since he lost them, but Burt’s going to do his damnedest to win back all of the items of the Chances that he lost gambling. We’re hoping he starts with that hat that holds the cans of beer that he lost for Phil Nugent back in 1996. Phil loved that hat.

Justified (FX, 10 p.m.): Raylan’s pursuit of an Oxy dealer puts him on a collision course with the new head of the Dixie Mafia. We’re not entirely sure how all of this will pan out, but if you asked us to put money on it, we’d bet on shooting being involved. Scott Tobias also solves all of his problems with guns.


Southland (TNT, 10 p.m.): This episode is called “Community.” We’re sure Kevin McFarland’s review of will be wonderful, but we’re going to drop in a reference Community, for no reason but to light up your notifications. And you can’t. Do. Anything. About. It. Except stop visiting. But please don’t do that.

White Collar (USA, 10 p.m.): Neal and Peter uncover a plot to rob a swanky hotel. Geez. Are they on to all of the shampoo we took from Chicago’s Hotel Felix last week? It’s a nice place, and the shampoo, you guys, is seriously just the best. Kenny Herzog recommends hiding a bottle away so you can get another!


FLCL (11 a.m.): Hayden Childs watches an episode called “Brittle Bullet.” Rather than look it up on Wikipedia or something, we’re just going to assume it’s about a melancholy bullet girl who keeps getting her heart broken by some pretty dickish bullet guys. That’s why they call her the “Brittle Bullet!”


The Muppet Show (1 p.m.): Oh. Shit. You guys. Mummenschanz. MUMMENSCHANZ! If you’re not running around your apartment in excitement, then Erik Adams evidently forgot to tell you that Mummenschanz is today’s secret word. Work it into as many comments discussions as you can!

The Larry Sanders Show (3 p.m.): And this episode of this show is called “Performance Artist.” You know what that makes us think of? MUMMENSCHANZ! Now we’re going to run about, causing general merriment and mischief until Kyle Ryan comes in with the garden hose and sprays us down to calm us.


Inside The Actors Studio (Bravo, 7 p.m.): Did you know this shit was still on the air? Or that George Clooney had never submitted to the James Lipton treatment before tonight? That guy really wants that second Oscar, huh? You can see it in his eyes. He’s gonna take that Oscar from you, then eat it.


Dance Moms (Lifetime, 9 p.m.): Yes, this was on our 10 worst list of 2011, but that doesn’t mean we’re not completely excited for tonight’s episode, in which the dancers confront the problem of bullying with dance. Most likely, bullying will never be a problem for anyone ever again! Take that, Mario Lopez!

Undercover Princes (TLC, 10 p.m.): Following its commitment to top-notch educational programming, The Learning Channel tonight breaks out a show about a bunch of foreign princes who move to Britain and disguise their true heritage in order to go out and find true love. We’re learning so much already!


Key & Peele (Comedy Central, 10:30 p.m.): Yes, yes, Tosh.0 is back at 10 p.m., but what we’re really excited for here at TV Club is this new sketch comedy from Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele, which has a very, very funny pilot. Steve Heisler checks it out, and if you guys like, we might add it. So talk!

Requiem For A Heavyweight (TCM, 8 p.m.): Conventional wisdom holds that the original TV broadcast of this Rod Serling script was much better than the movie made later (which is what’s screening tonight), but the surviving print of the original broadcast is so terrible that you may as well watch the film.


Time Bandits (Flix, 8 p.m.): Maybe you need a little Terry Gilliam in your life? If so, then check out one of his very first films with this madcap, time-bending comedy. Well, we should put quotes around that, since most Gilliam films have dramatic moments. But this one is really funny. Trust us. Why not?

NHL Hockey: Capitals at Lightning (NBC Sports, 7:30 p.m.): Surprisingly, Canada’s prime minister hasn’t stormed down to Tampa Bay to shout, “HALT!” and proclaim the presence of a hockey team there to be an abomination, before forcing the team to move to Saskatoon. Enjoy a Tampa team while you can!


Gossip Girl (Monday): This show has quietly wheezed its way to 100 episodes, over a period in which, like, every single one of our writers tried to cover the show before giving up. Anyway, Carrie Raisler’s the latest, and from her description of this one, it sounds like we didn’t miss much. Seriously? Georgina?


Mummenschanz (Everywhere, Every time): Mummenschanz!


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