Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Vanderpump Rules, Monday television does not

Illustration for article titled iVanderpump Rules/i, Monday television does not

Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Monday, November 3. All times are Eastern.

Top pick

Vanderpump Rules (Bravo, 9 p.m.): Season three of the Lisa Vanderpump-led Real Housewives of Beverly Hills returns tonight with an episode titled “Instafight.” We did some light digging but could not determine if this suggests some sort of fight that happens entirely in Instagram comments, but based on the promos, there does appear to be a lot of fighting and a lot of people sleeping with people they’re not supposed to be sleeping with? And there’s also this sound bite, from Lisa: “Unfortunately for me, where you put your dick affects my business.” Alright, so this disaster isn’t really top pick material, but Monday TV is bleak and we can’t just make Jane The Virgin the top pick every week even though we really, really want to.


Also noted

Jane The Virgin (The CW, 9 p.m.): But we can still place it as close to the top of this list as possible! Jane The Virgin just keeps getting better and better every week. And now, Jane’s getting married! Well, unless her sex dreams about Rafael don’t get in the way… and we kind of hope they do, because have you seen Rafael? Last week, the show really cranked up its fantasy sequences to great effect, and we hope that continues. We also hope Xo continues to sing and dance to her heart’s content and Louisa continues her steamy affair with her stepmother. Yep, this show is bonkers, but it’s also brilliant. And even though we usually hate voiceovers, we love it here. So just do yourself a favor and watch Jane The Virgin please. For added incentive, we’re adding the show to the TV Club rotation, with reviews by Oliver Sava.

Gotham (Fox, 8 p.m.): Gordon didn’t kill The Penguin like he was supposed to, and now he has to face the consequences. And according to the promo for this week’s episode—titled “Penguin’s Umbrella”—those consequences include mostly a lot of gunfire and some scowling. New-kid-on-the-Gotham Kyle Fowle

Sleepy Hollow (Fox, 9 p.m.): After last week’s mediocre episode, Sleepy Hollow returns with what looks like it could be more of a return to form for the series. Ichabod and Abbie have to race against the clock to save Katrina from a life-or-death threat. Watch the episode and then check back here for Zack Handlen’s review which, as usual, promises a list of Modern Things Of Which Ichabod Doth Not Approve.


Elsewhere in TV Club

Will Harris serves up a Random Roles with Maura Tierney (The Affair). What’s On Tonight is a huge fan of Tienery’s mother, who apparently won’t shut up about how much she loves The Good Wife. And for the sports fans in TV Club, check out Noel Murray’s For Our Consideration on the pros and cons of treating sports players as TV characters.


What else is on?

The Originals (The CW, 8 p.m.): “Esther forces Elijah to relive a time long ago when he loved a young woman named Tatia. Meanwhile, Mikael takes Cami hostage in an effort to lure Klaus to himself; and Davina makes a troubling discovery about Kaleb’s true identity.” So, a lot of stuff is going on on The Originals, but the main takeaway should be Tatia, who is one of the Petrova doppelgangers. Which means Nina Dobrev guest stars this week! With crimped hair! Because that’s historically accurate or something!


The Millers (CBS, 8:30 p.m.): We’re confused how The Millers still exists, but we’re even more confused about this week’s special guest star: NBA player Metta World Peace. Nathan lands an interview with the basketball star, and the episode features the eyeroll-inducing title “Give Metta World Peace A Chance.”

The Blacklist (NBC, 10 p.m.): “A devious hit man targets an important American scientist in the wake of an Iranian nuclear scientist’s assassination. Meanwhile, Keen tries to collect intelligence on Berlin, and Red connects with a food-truck worker.” The geopolitics of this episode synopsis seem confusing, but we feel pretty great about the inexplicable involvement of a food-truck worker.


Countdown to the CMA Awards: 15 Songs That Changed Country Music With Robin Roberts (ABC, 10 p.m.): What’s On Tonight has some reservations about some of the artists featured in this CMA-promotion special, but we can certainly get down with Robin Roberts as she takes us through the most influential songs in the genre in recent years.

Grease (ABC Family, 8:30 p.m.): Its message is admittedly questionable (change your entire identity so a boy will like you!), but What’s On Tonight still has a lot of summer love for this classic musical and especially for Olivia Newton-John in leather. In fact, What’s On Tonight wrote an illustrated novelization of the film in grade school. So this love runs deep.


Monday Night Football: Colts at Giants: The Indianapolis Colts have to make up for their unexpected loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers. They face the up-and-down New York Giants.

In case you missed it

Bob’s Burgers: This year’s Halloween episode doesn’t try to top last year’s perfection, but it aims for something much different and works. Alasdair Wilkins takes us through the clever episode, which features Ouija boards and ghost boyfriends.


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