Welcome back to You Win Or You Die, The A.V. Club’s weekly dead pool where we place our bets on who we think will die in this week’s Game Of Thrones episode. Every week, the talented and genial Benjamin Eckstein, oddsmaker and owner of America’s Line, provides the odds. We can also place “prophecies for profit” bets, which carry throughout the season. At the end of the season, one A.V. Club staffer will pay off the Iron Bank with their fake Westerosi bucks and sit on the nonexistent Iron Throne. As always, you can play along at home via the TV Deadpool site.
Valar morghulis to Erik Adams, who now sits alongside Josh Modell at the bottom of our leaderboard with $0. Erik could still come back, assuming Arya kills Cersei at some point, but until then, he’s like Jon Snow 2.0: dead, and not loving it.
Anyway, here are this week’s odds:
2-1 Tormund Giantsbane
Eckstein the oddsmaker says: He’s going to be at the Eastwatch, and that’s where the White Walkers are. I think he’s in big trouble.
The A.V. Club says: Some shit’s going to go down in that battle, and we can’t say we’re not worried for this old red-headed so and so.
Eckstein the oddsmaker says: He’s snarky, he’s sleazy, and he’s a pimp. No one likes pimps, so he’s got to go.
The A.V. Club says: Even typing the word “Littlefinger” makes us squicked out. He’s gross. He can’t die soon enough.
6-1 Randyll Tarly
Eckstein the oddsmaker says: Randyll is really a superfluous character. They can take him out any time. I don’t care.
The A.V. Club says: There’s no way he made it through that battle.
8-1 Dickon Tarly
Eckstein the oddsmaker says: Love his first name, but need to have a hyphen between the “dick” and the “on.”
The A.V. Club says: The internet loves this dude, for some reason. We’re fine with him dying.
Eckstein the oddsmaker says: The smoke is running out, and her time is limited.
The A.V. Club says: Something’s still got to play out with her, but we’re not sure it’s going to happen this week.
15-1 Jaime Lannister, Bronn
Eckstein the oddsmaker says: If they didn’t die last week, they’re going to live until at least the next season.
The A.V. Club says: Jaime’s got to hang around, but Bronn had a big, heroic episode last week, so we wouldn’t be surprised if it’s his time.
Eckstein the oddsmaker says: He still has some kind of usefulness.
The A.V. Club says: Eckstein’s right. It’s not his time.
Never-1 Daenerys Targaryen
Eckstein the oddsmaker says: There’s just no way.
The A.V. Club says: Agree. There’s no way she goes now.
Prophecies for profit:
Note: Bets placed here stay active throughout the course of the show.
6-5 Drogon dies from poison absorbed through his arrow wound.
Eckstein the oddsmaker says: Unfortunately, he’s going to die. It might not happen this week, next week, or until next season. But the crazy freak who invented the giant bow and arrow put long-lasting poison in the arrow, and it’s going to take a while to act. Drogon is named after Khal Drogo, and how did he die? Poison. Like father like son.
Previous prophecies for profit that are still in play:
2-1 The Hound emerges victorious in CleganeBowl.
5-1 The Mountain emerges victorious in CleganeBowl.
10-1 Someone else wins CleganeBowl.
3-1 Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen will sit on the throne together at the end of the series.
Over/under on episodes in which Cersei remains on the Iron Throne: 8.5.
Over/under on how many episodes until Jon Snow’s true parentage is revealed to him: 5.5.
Over/under on total deaths of named characters this week: 1.5
Our picks this week are:
Emi Tolibas ($432 Westerosi bucks in the bank): $100 on Randyll Tarly, $100 on Dickon Tarly, and $32 on the over.
John Teti ($150): $150 on Jaime Lannister.
Leo Garcia ($140): $5 on Tormund, $10 on Randyll Tarly, $100 on Dickon Tarly, $5 on Bronn, $20 on the over. “They’ve made all the Dickon jokes they can make already, right?!”
Marah Eakin ($70): $20 on Tormund, $5 on Dickon, $5 on Randyll, and $10 on Bronn.
Danette Chavez ($70): $5 on the over, and $5 on Dickon.
Karl Blomberg ($60): $10 on Randyll Tarly, $10 on the Drogon prophecy, $10 on the under.
Caity PenzeyMoog ($36): $5 on Dickon, $5 on Randyll, $5 on Bronn.
Kristi-Lynn Jacovino ($36): $5 on Randyll, $5 on Dickon, $6 on the over. “I still think the Tarlys are going down even if they ‘bend the knee.’”
Alex McLevy ($15): $5 on Bronn, $5 on Jaime.
Grace Thomas ($10): $10 on Randyll Tarly.