Valar morghulis to Erik Adams, who now sits alongside Josh Modell at the bottom of our leaderboard with $0. Erik could still come back, assuming Arya kills Cersei at some point, but until then, he’s like Jon Snow 2.0: dead, and not loving it.
Anyway, here are this week’s odds:
2-1 Tormund Giantsbane
Eckstein the oddsmaker says: He’s going to be at the Eastwatch, and that’s where the White Walkers are. I think he’s in big trouble.
The A.V. Club says: Some shit’s going to go down in that battle, and we can’t say we’re not worried for this old red-headed so and so.
Eckstein the oddsmaker says: He’s snarky, he’s sleazy, and he’s a pimp. No one likes pimps, so he’s got to go.
The A.V. Club says: Even typing the word “Littlefinger” makes us squicked out. He’s gross. He can’t die soon enough.
6-1 Randyll Tarly
Eckstein the oddsmaker says: Randyll is really a superfluous character. They can take him out any time. I don’t care.
The A.V. Club says: There’s no way he made it through that battle.
8-1 Dickon Tarly
Eckstein the oddsmaker says: Love his first name, but need to have a hyphen between the “dick” and the “on.”
The A.V. Club says: The internet loves this dude, for some reason. We’re fine with him dying.
Eckstein the oddsmaker says: The smoke is running out, and her time is limited.
The A.V. Club says: Something’s still got to play out with her, but we’re not sure it’s going to happen this week.
15-1 Jaime Lannister, Bronn
Eckstein the oddsmaker says: If they didn’t die last week, they’re going to live until at least the next season.
The A.V. Club says: Jaime’s got to hang around, but Bronn had a big, heroic episode last week, so we wouldn’t be surprised if it’s his time.
Eckstein the oddsmaker says: He still has some kind of usefulness.
The A.V. Club says: Eckstein’s right. It’s not his time.
Never-1 Daenerys Targaryen
Eckstein the oddsmaker says: There’s just no way.
The A.V. Club says: Agree. There’s no way she goes now.
Prophecies for profit:
Note: Bets placed here stay active throughout the course of the show.
6-5 Drogon dies from poison absorbed through his arrow wound.
Eckstein the oddsmaker says: Unfortunately, he’s going to die. It might not happen this week, next week, or until next season. But the crazy freak who invented the giant bow and arrow put long-lasting poison in the arrow, and it’s going to take a while to act. Drogon is named after Khal Drogo, and how did he die? Poison. Like father like son.
Previous prophecies for profit that are still in play:
2-1 The Hound emerges victorious in CleganeBowl.
5-1 The Mountain emerges victorious in CleganeBowl.
10-1 Someone else wins CleganeBowl.
3-1 Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen will sit on the throne together at the end of the series.
Over/under on episodes in which Cersei remains on the Iron Throne: 8.5.
Over/under on how many episodes until Jon Snow’s true parentage is revealed to him: 5.5.
Over/under on total deaths of named characters this week: 1.5
Our picks this week are:
Emi Tolibas ($432 Westerosi bucks in the bank): $100 on Randyll Tarly, $100 on Dickon Tarly, and $32 on the over.
John Teti ($150): $150 on Jaime Lannister.
Leo Garcia ($140): $5 on Tormund, $10 on Randyll Tarly, $100 on Dickon Tarly, $5 on Bronn, $20 on the over. “They’ve made all the Dickon jokes they can make already, right?!”
Marah Eakin ($70): $20 on Tormund, $5 on Dickon, $5 on Randyll, and $10 on Bronn.
Danette Chavez ($70): $5 on the over, and $5 on Dickon.
Karl Blomberg ($60): $10 on Randyll Tarly, $10 on the Drogon prophecy, $10 on the under.
Caity PenzeyMoog ($36): $5 on Dickon, $5 on Randyll, $5 on Bronn.
Kristi-Lynn Jacovino ($36): $5 on Randyll, $5 on Dickon, $6 on the over. “I still think the Tarlys are going down even if they ‘bend the knee.’”
Alex McLevy ($15): $5 on Bronn, $5 on Jaime.
Grace Thomas ($10): $10 on Randyll Tarly.