Here’s what’s up in the world of television for Monday, June 30. All times are Eastern.
Under The Dome (CBS, 10 p.m.): THE WORLD UNDER THE DOME RETURNETH. THE DOME FALLS OVER CHESTER’S MILL, WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT IS, FOR A WHOLE SECOND SEASON, AND AS IT DOES, IT WILL RIP A COW IN HALF, BIFURCATION, COWFURCATION, FURCATION OF A BOVINE NATURE. WE’RE NOT TOTALLY SURE HOW TO FEEL, SO WE’RE SHOUTING, BECAUSE THAT’S HOW WE WERE AT WHAT’S ON TONIGHT HANDLE OUR MOST COMPLICATED FEELINGS. SCOTT VON DOVIAK IS MUCH BETTER AT THIS KIND OF THING, WHICH IS WHY HE’S REVIEWING THE SECOND-SEASON PREMIERE (AND EPISODES OF UNDER THE DOME FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE) TONIGHT.
ALSO NOTED (OVER THE DOME)
The Making Of Diagon Alley (NBC, 8 p.m.): In a gorgeous example of corporate synergy, NBC is devoting a whole hour of its primetime programming to investigating how Universal Studios made the “Wizarding World Of Harry Potter” section of its amusement park in Orlando, Florida.
112 Weddings (HBO, 9 p.m.): Documentary filmmaker Doug Block examines the most memorable weddings he filmed, and follows them later through the years as they grow older, wiser, and more candid. An HBO original.
American Revolutionary: The Evolution Of Grace Lee Boggs (PBS, 10 p.m.): PBS’ POV series profiles Grace Lee Boggs, a 98-year-old Chinese-American activist who has spent most of her life campaigning for civil rights. That’s right; what did you do with your life?
Teen Wolf (MTV, 10 p.m.): LaToya Ferguson is trying this out for the next three weeks. Like it? Hate it? Well, click on it, because that is the only way to fuel this machine.
ELSEWHERE IN TV CLUB
Just in time for our nation’s Independence Day, TV Club offers to you the 26 worst episodes of the television season—because that’s what you need to celebrate true patriotism, America. Will you disagree with us? Probably! But we hope not too much.
And our dearly departed Todd VanDerWerff strikes at us from the (proverbial) grave with his final For Our Consideration: Why spoiler alerts are dumb. Brace yourselves, readers, for the new Vox Culture Editor refused to leave our hallowed halls without a mic-drop.
If neither of those interest you, then here’s this: Comedian David Wain wrote up for us what his last pop-cultural day on earth would be, if he had just 24 hours left to live.
TV CLUB CLASSIC
Justice League Unlimited (1 p.m.): We are relatively certain that Oliver Sava is taking either this Monday or next Monday off for the holiday, but maybe he’s not? Maybe he will just keep delivering justice until he can’t anymore, or until there is no justice left.
WHAT ELSE IS ON?
Rewrapped (Food Network, 8 p.m.): “Entenmann’s Rich Frosted Donuts are in the spotlight; and one chef attempts to use the treat in a recipe for a decadent chocolate-bacon cake.” What’s On Tonight would like to interrupt your regularly scheduled summary of Rewrapped to say that Entenmann’s Rich Frosted Donuts are the only food that we would consent to being bribed with. If one of you would like to bribe a few scrappy television editors with something, that’s the thing. What could you bribe us to do? That’s a good question. What do you want? Another section in What’s On Tonight?
Rewrapped (Food Network, 8 p.m.): Boom. There you go. See how easy that was? Now think how many listings you’d get if we were well-stocked with donuts. Fucking flush with donuts. Swimming in rich frosted donut delight. 10-20 entries in one What’s On Tonight, six What’s On Tonights a week, four weeks a month, 12 months a year, get the picture? Think about how many plugs for your show you could get. Think about that, and then take a trip to your friendly neighborhood grocery store. Look under the “E.” For “Entenmann’s.”
The Bachelorette (ABC, 8 p.m.): “The Top 6 bachelors visit Brussels, where one contender discusses his childhood during a one-on-one date, and another man attends an outdoor concert with Andi. Elsewhere, a group date involves a visit to castle ruins.”
CeeLo Green’s The Good Life (TBS, 10:30 p.m.): “Khujo and T-Mo get a lesson in the art of stealth marketing.”
Rewrapped (Food Network, 8 p.m.): Hey, baby. Lookin’ at you. Got something for me?
COPA MUNDIAL, BITCHES
Round of 16: France vs. Nigeria (ESPN, noon): An interesting match: Nigeria barely scraped into the knockout round while France breezed in, but in the last game, Nigeria got scrappier and France got a little lazy. Still, it would be surprising if France didn’t take this. Similarly…
Round of 16: Germany vs. Algeria (ESPN, 4 p.m.): One of the strongest teams in the entire competition takes on one of the weakest. It will likely be an open-and-shut deal, though again, who knows.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Californication: Kenny Herzog re-donned his Californication-cap for one last wild ride, as he reviewed the series finale of this oft-confused, usually frustrating Showtime “comedy.” He pronounced it, you know, okay! Which, bless his heart, is more credit than we’ve ever given that show.