Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Toot toot! All aboard the Kroll Show cake train!

Illustration for article titled Toot toot! All aboard the iKroll Show/i cake train!

Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Tuesday, January 14. All times are Eastern.


Kroll Show (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.): Nick Kroll’s reality-show-nightmarescape/sketch show returns with a vengeance—and vengeance is a dish best served by baking it into the form of three-layer cake, one that’s then flung from the back of a moving locomotive. The second-season premiere brings with it the debut of the mysterious “Cake Train,” a development in food service and mass transit that has David Sims salivating. Taking the long view on season two, Brandon Nowalk looks beyond the cake train—but who wants to do that?



The Originals/Supernatural (The CW, 8 p.m.): The CW’s Tuesday nights have laid cold and dormant lo the previous five weeks, with nary an attractive vampire or a fallen angel to stoke the furnace. That all ends tonight, as The Originals and Supernatural burst forth from the January deep freeze to bring Rowan Kaiser and Eric Thurm all the easy-on-the-eyes genre fare that’s been absent from their lives for too long.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Fox, 8:30 p.m.): That’s “Golden Globe-winning Brooklyn Nine-Nine” to you! The best TV comedy to air only 11 episodes before Globe nominations were announced pauses its victory lap to take care of one bothersome aspect left over from its pilot: That “Who can make the most arrests?” bet between Peralta and Santiago. You’ve already got Andy Samberg’s Golden Globe (that’s Golden Globe-winning Andy Samberg’s Golden Globe to you!), Jake. Maybe you ought to let Amy take the car. That’s what Molly Eichel would do.

Cougar Town (TBS, 10 p.m.): Could there be anymore guest star Matthew Perry in this episode? Maybe, but that would require Les Chappell to put the finishing touches on his process for cloning Friends alumni. Unfortunately, he can’t get to that right now, because he’s up to his armpits in Gunthers.



Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. (ABC, 8 p.m.)

New Girl (Fox, 9 p.m.)

The Mindy Project (Fox, 9:30 p.m.)

Trophy Wife (ABC, 9:30 p.m.)

Person Of Interest (CBS, 10 p.m.)

Justified (FX, 10 p.m.):


Here’s a free-of-context pullquote from Todd VanDerWerff’s conversation with Adam Reed, in which the Archer creator discusses rebooting his beloved spy spoof: “Somebody will be kicked out of a helicopter at 3,000 feet.” To find out if he’s talking about a real person or an animated character, click over to the interview. Or you could tempt fate and see if Reed’s interested in taking a helicopter tour of your hometown sometime.



Friday Night Tykes (Esquire, 9 p.m.): Any of y’all familiar with this footingball game? And the Republic of Texas’ unique fixation on the sport? Kevin McFarland is, as is the new Esquire docuseries he just reviewed. Clearly the success of both the review and the television program lie with the American public’s familiarity with this obscure athletic competition.


E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial (WGN, 8 p.m.): The other superstation warms up for its foray into the super lucrative realm of Biblical re-enactments with Steven Spielberg’s best accidental sci-fi Christian parable.

Bend It Like Beckham (TVGN, 8:30 p.m.): Long before she was putting up with Bald Baldington’s Blacklist bullshit, Parminder Nagra just wanted to play soccer and date Coach Jonathan Rhys Meyers. And just like that, a spec script for a time-and-free-kick-bending Blacklist/Dracula is born.


College Basketball: Wisconsin at Indiana (ESPN, 7 p.m.): The Badgers put their undefeated season on the line against the Hoosiers, a perennial basketball powerhouse that’s struggling in Big 10 competition this year. It’s probably been too long since former coach Bobby Knight threw a chair on IU’s behalf.


Cake Train (All day, every day): C’mon ride the train (Woo! Woo!) / Hey ride it! (Woo! Woo!) / C’mon ride the train / It’s the cake cake train! (Mmm! Mmm!)



How I Met Your Mother: The show can cross one more item off season nine’s to-do list: The final slap. Donna Bowman never thought she’d find physical violence so emotionally affecting.


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