A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.

Netflix’s best pop-cultural resurrection, Paul Reubens in Pee-Wee’s Big Holiday. He’s a loner, a rebel, and as imminently watchable as always.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2. Makes sense. Fourteen years is the optimal time between fat Greek weddings and sequels?

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Mountain Dew’s take on a high-end soda, Mountain Dew Black Label. Nice try, Mountain Dew, but honestly any soda that doesn’t dye your tongue nuclear-waste-green is considered “high end.”

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Spike Lee, Charles Barkley, and Samuel L. Jackson’s tedious ads for Capital One. Nothing excites people for March Madness like a trio of famous guys pretending to have fun while selling credit cards!

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Limited edition Cadbury Creme Egg Cookies. Sure. Because sometimes when you’re eating a cookie, you want to pretend you’re eating a raw egg.

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NBC’s exhaustingly dull exercise in un-entertainment, Caught On Camera With Nick Cannon. The only interesting thing about Nick Cannon is that he was married to Mariah Carey. Without that, he’s just another shouty Seacrest tossing up video after lackluster video.

The latest unnecessary season of Dancing With The Stars. The preferred program of sequin manufacturers, people in the hospital who are unable to change the channel, and Geraldo super-fans.

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