A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert. In or out of character, Colbert does the best version of smart, sharp late-night host.
One Direction’s announcement that they’re taking a hiatus. “Hiatus” here means, “Retiring until a One Direction reunion cruise (featuring 98 Degrees) sounds tempting in about 15 years.”
A Walk In The Woods. A.k.a. Grumpy Old Men 3: Grumps Take The Woods!
The Coneheads for State Farm. Nothing makes people want to insure their homes, cars, and lives like characters from a late-’70s comedy sketch!
Ads for CBS’s Limitless featuring Bradley Cooper. If you take this pill, you’ll be able to use 100 percent of your brain to imagine Bradley Cooper is actually in the show for more than 30 seconds.
E!’s latest reality show about the thoroughly useless, Wags. See, “wags” stands for “wives and girlfriends who inexplicably embrace being referred to as ‘wags.’”
The annual return of Starbucks’ Pumpkin Spice Latte—now with actual pumpkin! No one wants to drink real pumpkin, Starbucks. They want a combination of chemicals that will approximate the sensation of drinking pumpkin pie filling—for a limited time so that it seems more special than disgusting. Is that so hard?