A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.
Netflix’s thoroughly engrossing crime documentary, Making A Murderer. It’s all the intrigue of The Jinx and Serial without all the distractions of Andrew Jarecki reaction shots and MailKimp ads.
Coffee-Mate’s special edition Star Wars coffee creamers. Just because everything can have a Star Wars tie-in doesn’t mean everything should.
Miley Cyrus’ video for “BB Talk.” All the adult diapers and giant baby dancers in the world aren’t enough to distract from the droning, open-mic-night-level spoken word.
The annual onslaught of nonsensical perfume ads. It’s that magical time of year when models roll around on the ground, Natalie Portman jilts some dude at the altar, and Charlize Theron drops from the ceiling on a golden ribbon all in the hope of making you smell like a mall.
Ads for real-life Moby-Dick movie, In the Heart Of The Sea. A.k.a. The Untold Story Behind The Book You Pretended To Read In High School.
The Miss Universe pageant. Every year, the universe convenes a panel of random pop culture has-beens to determine once and for all which country is the best at contouring noses and cheekbones.
The completely unnecessary return of the short-lived early-’90s almost-Sprite, Crystal Pepsi. Mmm. A drinkable anachronism.