A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.

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The CW’s musical rom-­com, Crazy Ex-­Girlfriend. It’s way funnier than anything called a “musical rom­-com” should be.

The return of Showtime’s The Affair. Now with two times the POVs!

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Apple’s iPhone 6s “The Only Thing That’s Changed Is…” ads. If the only thing that’s changed is that Selena Gomez is endorsing you now, Apple, you can calm down for at least 12 months. No new phones for a year, okay?

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David Beckham’s “curated” collection of “modern essentials” for H&M. “Modern essentials” here means “hoodies,” and “curated” means “picked a picture of a hoodie at random.”

Bradley Cooper’s new, melodramatic take on Kitchen Confidential, Burnt. Finally a movie for people who watch Food Network and think, “They could take this flambé-ing a little more seriously.”

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Lifetime’s thoroughly puzzling, immeasurably sad Celebrity Lie Detector: Tori Spelling special. First question: “Do you think that Lifetime inventing a show called Celebrity Lie Detector just so you can maybe trend on Twitter is more effective than Paxil?”

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Burger King’s ashtray-bunned atrocity, The Halloween Whopper. Smart move to market this as a Halloween specialty, because truly nothing is scarier than ingesting a sandwich that looks like it was made from a Play-Doh Fun With Food set.