A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.

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Jif To Go Dippers. It’s 2014. How could it have possibly taken this long to put pretzels and peanut butter in their own little Handi-Snack container?

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Samuel L. Jackson for Capital One Quicksilver rewards card. You should at least be able to picture the celebrity logging on to a credit card reward site in order for that celebrity to endorse the card.

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Maroon 5’s latest nasal whine, V. It’s like John Mayer cloned himself, decided to sing exclusively through his nose, and formed a band.

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A&E’s Love Prison. Trapping two strangers on a deserted island would have been considered a bold concept for a dating show a year ago. But we’re living in a post-Dating Naked world now.

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This Is Where I Leave You, Are You Here, and other dad’s funeral dramedy borefests. Here Is Where No One Cares.

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CBS’s inexplicable Fashion Rocks. Pitbull, The Band Perry, and Enrique Iglesias don’t rock, and have nothing to do with fashion, no matter how many models teeter around them as they trill.

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The annual return of Scream You To A Smaller Size, a.k.a. The Biggest Loser. Apparently, constant yelling interspersed with pretending to enjoy Jennie-O turkey burgers is the key to losing weight fast. And not keeping it off.