Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

This week we’re barely putting up with Lifetime’s Unauthorized Full House Story

Illustration for article titled This week we’re barely putting up with Lifetime’s iUnauthorized Full House Story/i

A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.

Illustration for article titled This week we’re barely putting up with Lifetime’s iUnauthorized Full House Story/i
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Illustration for article titled This week we’re barely putting up with Lifetime’s iUnauthorized Full House Story/i

Reelz’s satisfyingly cheesy crime re-enactment show, Murder Made Me Famous. It’s like a mini-Lifetime movie each week—from the era when “Lifetime movie” meant “cheesy crime re-enactment” and not “behind the scenes of a sitcom.”

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Illustration for article titled This week we’re barely putting up with Lifetime’s iUnauthorized Full House Story/i

Coverage of Jennifer Aniston’s honeymoon. So sad how Jen is pretending to be over Brad with this whole glamorously beige honeymoon with her loving new husband thing.

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Illustration for article titled This week we’re barely putting up with Lifetime’s iUnauthorized Full House Story/i
Illustration for article titled This week we’re barely putting up with Lifetime’s iUnauthorized Full House Story/i
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The completely unnecessary revival of Punk’d on BET. Oh, BET. You weren’t actually supposed to put Punk’d back on the air! Didn’t you notice a trucker-hatted Ashton Kutcher in that van over there?

Illustration for article titled This week we’re barely putting up with Lifetime’s iUnauthorized Full House Story/i
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Lifetime’s thoroughly un-dramatic melodrama, The Unauthorized Full House Story. It’s not a ripped-from-the-headlines story, it’s a there-were-no-headlines-so-we-just-kinda-made-it-up story.

Illustration for article titled This week we’re barely putting up with Lifetime’s iUnauthorized Full House Story/i
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Excitement over Disney’s plans for a Star Wars land at its Florida theme park. There already is an entire land devoted to Star Wars merchandise: America.

Illustration for article titled This week we’re barely putting up with Lifetime’s iUnauthorized Full House Story/i
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Illustration for article titled This week we’re barely putting up with Lifetime’s iUnauthorized Full House Story/i

Waist trainers, a.k.a. corsets. It’s amazing how shifting and squeezing your internal organs into a rigid hourglass shape with industrial strength elastic and boning gives you an hourglass shape!

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Illustration for article titled This week we’re barely putting up with Lifetime’s iUnauthorized Full House Story/i

The Duck Dynasty wedding. If all that camouflage worked, then we thankfully wouldn’t be able to see the very public, highly unadvisable swamp wedding of two A&E-famous 19-year-olds.

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