A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.
Reelz’s satisfyingly cheesy crime re-enactment show, Murder Made Me Famous. It’s like a mini-Lifetime movie each week—from the era when “Lifetime movie” meant “cheesy crime re-enactment” and not “behind the scenes of a sitcom.”
Coverage of Jennifer Aniston’s honeymoon. So sad how Jen is pretending to be over Brad with this whole glamorously beige honeymoon with her loving new husband thing.
The completely unnecessary revival of Punk’d on BET. Oh, BET. You weren’t actually supposed to put Punk’d back on the air! Didn’t you notice a trucker-hatted Ashton Kutcher in that van over there?
Lifetime’s thoroughly un-dramatic melodrama, The Unauthorized Full House Story. It’s not a ripped-from-the-headlines story, it’s a there-were-no-headlines-so-we-just-kinda-made-it-up story.
Excitement over Disney’s plans for a Star Wars land at its Florida theme park. There already is an entire land devoted to Star Wars merchandise: America.
Waist trainers, a.k.a. corsets. It’s amazing how shifting and squeezing your internal organs into a rigid hourglass shape with industrial strength elastic and boning gives you an hourglass shape!
The Duck Dynasty wedding. If all that camouflage worked, then we thankfully wouldn’t be able to see the very public, highly unadvisable swamp wedding of two A&E-famous 19-year-olds.