A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.

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Reelz’s satisfyingly cheesy crime re-enactment show, Murder Made Me Famous. It’s like a mini-Lifetime movie each week—from the era when “Lifetime movie” meant “cheesy crime re-enactment” and not “behind the scenes of a sitcom.”

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Coverage of Jennifer Aniston’s honeymoon. So sad how Jen is pretending to be over Brad with this whole glamorously beige honeymoon with her loving new husband thing.

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The completely unnecessary revival of Punk’d on BET. Oh, BET. You weren’t actually supposed to put Punk’d back on the air! Didn’t you notice a trucker-hatted Ashton Kutcher in that van over there?

Lifetime’s thoroughly un-dramatic melodrama, The Unauthorized Full House Story. It’s not a ripped-from-the-headlines story, it’s a there-were-no-headlines-so-we-just-kinda-made-it-up story.

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Excitement over Disney’s plans for a Star Wars land at its Florida theme park. There already is an entire land devoted to Star Wars merchandise: America.

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Waist trainers, a.k.a. corsets. It’s amazing how shifting and squeezing your internal organs into a rigid hourglass shape with industrial strength elastic and boning gives you an hourglass shape!

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The Duck Dynasty wedding. If all that camouflage worked, then we thankfully wouldn’t be able to see the very public, highly unadvisable swamp wedding of two A&E-famous 19-year-olds.