A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.
Broad City, season two. It’s not just the best sitcom about young women in New York—it’s one of the best sitcoms on TV right now.
J. Lo’s return to the cheesy lady-in-danger thriller genre, The Boy Next Door. Finally a movie about what happens when the woman from Enough moves next door to a boy.
Lifetime’s inevitable Whitney Houston biopic, Whitney. The most Lifetime way to show Whitney and Bobby’s relationship would be to just show reruns of Being Bobby Brown. But since that show was on Bravo, this’ll have to do.
Applebee’s new, inexplicable “pub diet” commercials. Makes sense, because the two pillars of a healthy diet are, obviously, pub food and Applebee’s.
TurboTax commercials. Everyone has to file taxes, but only TurboTax can help you file your taxes while simultaneously pummeling your brain with scenes from the most annoying business trip of all time.
TLC’s revival of the original self-imposed gestational freak show, Kate Plus Eight. Bright side: as long as the reality show cameras are there, those kids are never alone with their mother.
Justin Bieber, Calvin Klein underwear model. You can get as many tattoos as you want, Bieber, those photos still look like someone Photoshopped K.D. Lang’s head on the body of a minimum security prisoner.