A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.

CNN’s thoroughly engrossing documentary series, Race For The White House. Turns out, presidential campaign history makes for the best mini-melodramas.

The return of Bravo’s Southern Charm. Sure, it’s mainly about people getting drunk in the heat and pretending they’re not drunk or hot, but that’s the recipe for a perfect reality show.

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Matthew McConaughey for Lincoln. What’s worse: season two of True Detective, or the fact that McConaughey thinks his character from season one is now eternally aimlessly driving around in a brand-new Lincoln SUV?

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H&R Block commercials. Everyone has to file taxes, but only H&R Block can file your taxes while simultaneously pummeling your brain with near constant ads featuring some guy in a bow tie playing with stacks of your money.

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Zayn Malik’s hyper-sexual, hyper-over-compensating, soon-to-be-hyper-embarassing-in-a-few-years album, Mind Of Mine. Aww, the boy bander thinks he’s all grown up!

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The ACMs, a.k.a. the Academy Of Country Music Awards, a.k.a. Another Country Music Awards Show. Is there even enough country music produced in a year to feed all these country music awards shows?

Cinematic sermon/rejected episode of Seventh Heaven, God’s Not Dead 2. Do you need to see God not die in the first one to enjoy the sequel?

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