A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.
Season two of Sundance’s version of The Walking Dead, The Returned. When the dead come back as people instead of as zombies, it’s creepy in completely different way.
Becoming Beyoncé: The Untold Story. Unauthorized biographies fall somewhere between lackluster episode of VH1’s Behind The Music and tell-all by a disgruntled child on the celebrity memoir scale.
James Franco’s thoroughly unnecessary adaptation of The Sound And The Fury. It’s the Faulkner/Franco joint no one’s been waiting for!
Destination America’s Exorcism: Live! The only thing spookier than a ghost hunter trying to exorcise demons from a possibly haunted house on live TV is trying to find some channel called Destination America in the dark, mysterious fringes of cable.
Real Housewives Of New Jersey: Teresa Checks In. Worst episodes of Orange Is The New Black ever.
Domino’s order-by-emoji ads. Makes sense: The garishly colored, flat, cartoon pizza emoji looks about as appetizing as a Domino’s pepperoni pizza.
The least essential award show of the year, the CMA Awards. Ain’t nothin’ more country than spending hours with your glam squad to walk a red carpet and sing about pickup trucks and whiskey on prime-time on ABC.