A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.

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The return of Investigation Discovery’s least tawdry program, A Crime To Remember. It’s like Mad Men, if Mad Men was made by the same network that brought you Swamp Murders and Evil Twins.

The trailer for The Huntsman Winter’s War. Finally: the mega-dramatic, live-action, non-musical version of Frozen no one was waiting for!

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NBC’s The Wiz: Live! “It’s David Allen Grier as you’ve never seen him! Really, he’s unrecognizable as the Cowardly Lion!” NBC yells into the cold, uncaring TV abyss.

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Pizza Hut’s “Triple Treat” Box. When the delivery box is the most exciting part of your food product, does it even count as a food product?

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The semi-annual onslaught of Kay Jewelers, Zales, and Jared commercials. The most special gift for that special woman in your life is a basic cubic zirconia pendant necklace you bought from the adult version of Claire’s Boutique on Black Friday.

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Gwyneth Paltrow’s thoroughly Goop-y Valentino pop-up shop. The clothes are allegedly inspired by Wonder Woman, while the prices ($1,000 for a pair of sneakers) are apparently inspired by the Gilded Age.

Black Friday. It’s that magical time of year when the mall transforms into the trampling ground.

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