A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler hosting the Golden Globes again. Anything that has the possibility of pissing off Taylor Swift and her flat-faced accessory kittens is a good thing.
The Celebrity Apprentice. Donald Trump is the Dexter of reality TV: He only puts former reality stars on reality television.
Trailers for Ant Man trailers. Teasers for trailers for a third-tier superhero movie is step one in Marvel’s comic-con-ization of the world.
The upcoming Entourage movie. If this ends in a five-way bro-icide pact, squashing all hope for a sequel, it will be worth it.
The return of The Bachelor. Once a year, ABC plucks an average American fame-whore from obscurity, shaves his chest, and tells a group of women trapped in an over-surveilled house that he’s their only way out. It’s a bad action movie disguised as a bad reality show.
The People’s Choice Awards. And the awards season kicks off with an award show so inane, no one can be bothered to make a pool for it!
The 14th season of American Idol. So far, this show has produced an Oscar winner, a wannabe politician, two actual pop stars, dozens of episodes of Smash, and hundreds upon hundreds of no-hit wonders. Time to stop. That’s more than enough aspiring yell-singers unleashed on the world.