A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.

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Tina Fey and Amy Poehler hosting the Golden Globes again. Anything that has the possibility of pissing off Taylor Swift and her flat-faced accessory kittens is a good thing.

The Celebrity Apprentice. Donald Trump is the Dexter of reality TV: He only puts former reality stars on reality television.

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Trailers for Ant Man trailers. Teasers for trailers for a third-tier superhero movie is step one in Marvel’s comic-con-ization of the world.

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The upcoming Entourage movie. If this ends in a five-way bro-icide pact, squashing all hope for a sequel, it will be worth it.

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The return of The Bachelor. Once a year, ABC plucks an average American fame-whore from obscurity, shaves his chest, and tells a group of women trapped in an over-surveilled house that he’s their only way out. It’s a bad action movie disguised as a bad reality show.

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The People’s Choice Awards. And the awards season kicks off with an award show so inane, no one can be bothered to make a pool for it!

The 14th season of American Idol. So far, this show has produced an Oscar winner, a wannabe politician, two actual pop stars, dozens of episodes of Smash, and hundreds upon hundreds of no-hit wonders. Time to stop. That’s more than enough aspiring yell-singers unleashed on the world.

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