A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.

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The triumphant return of Valerie Cherish in The Comeback. Turns out, you do need to see that.

Bravo’s equally sad and hilarious Eurotrash primer, Euros Of Hollywood. There’s an Austrian named Fawni and a singer who calls herself the “Madonna Of Albania.” How can you not watch that in marathon form hungover on a Sunday?

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James Franco for Droid. Your Droid can save you from certain death if you jump off a building, but unfortunately it can’t stop you from publishing a book of poetry.

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Jif Whips, unnecessarily whipped and flavored peanut butter. Food that tastes like other food is just wrong. Especially when it’s peanut butter that tastes like pumpkin pie and it comes in a plastic tub.

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Russell Brand’s manifesto-ish thing, Revolution. The difference between Russell Brand and that kid on your floor freshman year who rambled on about “the system” after taking one philosophy course is that Russell Brand wrote down his ramblings in a book.

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The nth season of Kardashian non-drama delivered in a vocal fry, Kourtney & Khloé Take The Hamptons. How many more cities and beachside communities will we lose to Kardashian scourge?

The 19 Kids And Counting wedding(s). Every Duggar girl dreams of the day she can kiss a boy for the first time and then marry that boy and immediately begin to create even more Duggars to fill the ever-increasing mega-church.

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