This Week In Terrifying Hybrids:

1. The parody of a foriegn commercial in Conan's Bud Light commercial - humor + what's left of Lindsay Lohan + Click Flash Wow = Fornarina Ad

Click. Flash. Zot. Bam. Lobotomy. Walking Emery Board. Fornarina.

It's a toss up as to what is the worst part about this commercial: 1. That Lindsay Lohan has deteriorated to a point that stiffly walking through a green screen nightmare while blurting out random English words to get Italian teenagers to buy mall wear is a highlight of her career. Or 2. That Italy has deteriorated to such a point that Italian teenagers could be persuaded to buy hot pink mall wear from the lobotomized suggestion of Lindsay Lohan.

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2. Justin Timberlake + bottle service + Sammy Hagar's brand model = 901 Tequila

Yes, Justin Timberlake is launching is very own line of $40-a-bottle depression enhancement, just in time for the recession! But 901 tequila, aka Timberlake's Good Ole Tequila, isn't just the next logical step in Justin's ongoing quest to become a business mogul in the Diddy sense. No, this product means something to Justin, as evidenced by his thoughtful marketing of it. From People:

“901 is that time of night when your evening is ending, but your night is just beginning. It is also a subtle nod to his hometown,” says the singer's spokesperson, referring to the area code for Memphis, where Timberlake grew up.

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My evenings usually end around eight hundred and forty, but still, this tequila inspiration backstory is fascinating. I thought Timberlake sprung fully formed from betwixt Mickey Mouse's ears, and was reared in an boy band incubator in the vast shadow of Lou Pearlman somewhere in Orlando. But now that I know he's from Memphis, his designer tequila just seems so much more genuine to me. Nothing says, "I believe in this product" like slapping the area code of your psuedo-hometown on it. What did Memphis do to deserve this?

3. Billy Mouth Bass + terror + McDonald's = Filet O' Fish commercial

Remember when McDonald's started giving away ped-o-meters in an effort to combat its fat-peddling behemoth image as spread far and wide by Super Size Me and Fast Food Nation? Now instead of battling with their critics, they just embrace them in a way that would be admirable if it didn't involve a creepy song that lodges itself firmly in your brain where it grows like a catchy, catchy fungus.

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The message of this commercial seems to be: McDonald's Filet O'Fish doesn't look like real fish? Well, it's not. It's made from angry, plastic, novelty mounted fish. And people like it. What are you gonna say now?