NBC announced its summer programming slate yesterday, and there are two remarkable, shiny, plastic gems of pure idiocy. Let us gaze upon them.

From The Hollywood Reporter:

Two miniseries are included, too — another summer rarity: “The Meteor” (rocks tumbling toward Earth) and “The Storm" (James Van Der Beek stars in this story of a weather creation experiment that goes bad — "hurricanes change course, winds go instantly from hot to cold, torrential rains bring regions to a standstill, and buildings crumble into ruins under explosive lightening storms").

Rocks, crazy rain, and Dawson? Summer can't come soon enough. NBC's programming will be the giant magnifying glass that allows the sun to fry our brains. But why stop with two mini-series about natural phenomena? Here are ideas for a few more:

The Sun.

Advertisement

There's a giant fireball in the sky, but is it hurtling towards us? The Earth could be in peril. There is panic in the streets. This story follows a group of brave, specially-selected carpenters as they build a very, very tall platform in order to investigate. Reginald Vel Johnson ("Family Matters") stars.

The Ice.

Advertisement

Things start to freeze. Shannen Doherty stars.

The Wheat.

A band of rogue scientists find a way to turn everything—buildings, furniture, sky, babies, you know, everything—into wheat for some reason. Only a lone research assistant (Jenna Von Oy, "Blossom") can stop them…but can she do it in time?

Advertisement

The Twig.

God accidentally dropped His favorite twig from heaven. Now it's up to one single mom (Tracy Gold) to get it back to him before the vengence kicks in.

Advertisement

The Sea.

Water, man. It gets crazy. Jenna Elfman stars.

Advertisement