Happy Independence Day, America! To celebrate, Sandra Lee teamed up with Mario Lopez's pectorals and  made you a nightmare cake. (Okay, technically she made it a few months ago. But nightmare cakes are good for every occasion!) And don't worry, you don't have to thank her: It took absolutely no effort.

Yum! Can't you just smell the stale, vaguely rancid supermarket air? That's what that frosting definitely tastes like. It's the flavor of unrelenting, aggressive nonsense that Sandra Lee adds to all of her creations, and it's what makes America great. That overwhelming desire you feel to pull out your tongue and bury it deep, deep in the ground if only to keep it as far away from ever possibly having to taste that cake pile is a natural reaction.

Advertisement

If that horror isn't enough to sustain you over the long weekend, here's another clip of one of Sandra's favorite recipes. I don't want to spoil it, but the end product looks like a tray full of giant, oozing, dead eyeballs:

Happy long weekend! (Regularly scheduled hating will resume July 6th)

Advertisement