Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Wednesday, August 21. All times are Eastern.

The Soup (E!, 10 p.m.):
After nine years of weird clips and sarcastic commentary, this Talk Soup reboot—and remember that show? and how Greg Kinnear has an Oscar nomination?—reaches its 500th episode, and there will be much rejoicing throughout The A.V. Club’s realm. Tune in for tonight’s live spectacular, then come back in a couple of hours to see what we thought of it and to figure out just when Joel McHale will receive his inevitable Oscar nomination, hopefully for the movie we’re making out of the Spaghetti Cat saga. And until then, share your favorite Soup moments in comments below.


MasterChef (Fox, 9 p.m.):
The chefs have to recreate popular dishes at a dining establishment in downtown Los Angeles. Actually, maybe it’s Mac & Cheeza? Wait. That location closed? Well, son of a bitch! Phil Dyess-Nugent could really go for some bacon-jalapeno macaroni and cheese right now.

The Bridge (FX, 10 p.m.): Do you get the sense Meredith Stiehm and Elwood Reid just want to get the killer behind bars, so they can start making the U.S.-Mexican border show they so obviously really want to be making? Molly Eichel wants to see a remake on the border between Iceland and the Mer-Kingdom.


Broadchurch (BBC America, 10 p.m.): Now, there are a lot of “case of the season” shows on TV right now, with one case followed out to its eventual solving, but none has a character as incongruous and wacky as Psychic Steve on this show. Gwen Ihnat can talk to dead things, too, but only dead plants.

Futurama (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.): The crew are trapped on the Planet Express ship with a horrific creature in an episode called “Murder On The Planet Express.” You know what better not happen to them in this episode? Scruffy better not die. When Scruffy dies, that’s when Zack Handlen gets angry.

Freaks And Geeks (1 p.m.):
Neal finds an unusual garage door opener, and it unlocks the key to Todd VanDerWerff’s big, blubbery emotions. What will happen when he stops weeping into a half-finished bottle of Wild Turkey? Well, he’ll finish the bottle, then write an incomprehensible review!


Biker Battles (CMT, 8 p.m.):
Here’s a show about all the wacky bullshit that goes on at the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally, including various “bikini contests,” presumably not featuring big, bearded bikers. Your humble What’s On Tonight once worked as a correspondent from the Buffalo Chip Campground there.

Extreme Cougar Wives (TLC, 9:30 p.m.): TLC continues its run of extremely classy summer programming with this look at older women who’ve attracted husbands half their age or younger, inviting you to find the whole situation odd and awkward. Because, ha ha, unusual relationships are disgusting and wrong!


Necessary Roughness (USA, 10 p.m.): USA offers you another reminder that there are a whole bunch of scripted dramas out there that basically nobody ever talks about. Like us. When’s the next time we’re going to write about this Callie Thorne star vehicle? We almost certainly never will. Sorry for that, USA.

Modern Dads (A&E, 10:30 p.m.): Jessica Jardine takes a look at the latest show to attempt to make an unscripted sitcom, this time centered on a bunch of guys who used to love being wild party guys and now have to be dads! How crazy that is, and how unlike anything that has ever happened to anyone.

The Bridge On The River Kwai (TCM, 8 p.m.): For added impact while watching, find an old kazoo and hum out the song everybody whistles as they march around building that infernal bridge. Then be suitably impressed by Alec Guinness’ performance, as well as William Holden’s frequent shirtlessness.


The Odd Life Of Timothy Green (Starz, 8:10 p.m.): This generic modern fairy tale about an infertile couple that writes its own son into existence hung on at the movie theater in our city that caters primarily to the older set for months. Nothing could bump that fucker off. It might still be there.

MLB Baseball: Rays at Orioles (ESPN2, 7 p.m.): The Rays are a ton of fun to watch, and the Orioles continue to be an inspiring story of a previously moribund franchise turning itself around in a fashion that might make a good sports movie someday if they can win a World Series. We like the baseball.

The Shield (Tuesday):
Brandon Nowalk closes out his coverage of the series’ solid third season, and we’ll likely wait until fall to revive his reviews for the fourth season, which is the one that Glenn Close was in, and it was really good, but it also lifts out of the series so neatly that a lot of people forget all about it.