Snooze. (Photo: Hulu)

The inevitable has happened. Dr. Mindy Lahiri and Nurse Ben no-last-name have broken up.

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I can’t say I’ll miss Mindy and Nurse Ben’s relationship. It’s been a loser since the start, with Mindy falling into a relationship too soon, and Ben struggling with a clear lack of understanding as to who Mindy actually is. As it turns out, that misunderstanding goes both ways for #Bendy, as we come to find out in “Revenge Of The Nurse,” the show’s 100th episode and fall finale.

In the vaguely star-studded episode, Mindy is confronted by a series of impressive exes, most notably B.J. Novak’s Jamie, who has quit teaching Latin in favor of writing terrible Dan Brown-style mystery thrillers. Mindy and the whole gang end up at his book part for The Cicero Paradox, where they also end up chatting up faux Today Show correspondent Cameron Winters, who’s looking for a nurse to come on the show. Tamra bows out, as she doesn’t respond to thirst, so Mindy slots in Ben, hoping he’ll come to love the attention and become a full-fledged TV star. He does, relatively speaking, with his admonishment to “dum-dums” who don’t cover their mouths when they cough becoming a Buzzfeed-friendly meme. When he’s asked to come back on the show, though, he balks, and no-shows, even after agreeing to appear. Mindy subs in Morgan, who has a hand lotion-fueled accident on camera, leading to his Ken Bone-style 15 minutes of internet fame.

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Mindy, understandably, is peeved. She hooked Ben up with a sweet gig, and he ghosted. They go two days without seeing each other before ending up at Morgan’s “I’m a meme” party. Mindy’s there first, though, and after shooting down at least 26 capfuls of some brown liquor, she kisses Jamie, who has already creepily told her in Latin that he’s bound to sleep with her that evening. Ben sees the kiss, as characters in romantic comedies do, and flips out. This leads to a nasty shouting match on the street where Ben rightly admits Mindy of being ashamed of him, and Mindy insisting that Ben isn’t living up to his life potential. Ben also questions how many men in New York Mindy has been with, something that, frankly, is not a great look on his part, even if she seems to be a little ashamed of it at the time. Ben eventually dumps Mindy, telling her he’s comfortable with who he is, and that she’s not good enough for him, something that’s probably true to him but doesn’t feel entirely accurate considering how fucking boring his character is.

Anyway, que sera, sera. A fundamentally flawed sitcom romance has now run its course, and the show won’t be any worse for it. What was more interesting to me in this episode was how Doctor Anna Ziev kept dropping information about Tim, her husband, who apparently runs a hedge fund and who, with Anna, owns a 5-story townhouse in London’s Notting Hill that just sits empty. This information comes from Anna in moments of uncomfortable silence, something that suggests to me, at least, that she’s maybe just trying to fill space with positive-skewing half-truths about herself. Sure, she might have a husband, but is their relationship solid? She kissed Jody, after all. Just because they’re filthy rich and have feverish sex every night doesn’t mean that they’re happy. I’ll be interested to see how that plays out in the second half of the season, where we’ll hopefully get to know a little more about the strange blonde.

Stray observations

  • “Whoa, Salman Rushdie! Isn’t there a financial reward for whoever turns him… nevermind.”
  • I was feeling Tamra this week, who doesn’t seem all that taken with “basic-ass Ben.” The fact that her character appears in a sketch show on IFC is just perfect.
  • Other great tidbits from this week: Morgan is “neither-handed” and Mindy was really close to dating the “Damn, Daniel” kid.
  • And with that, we’re done until next year, Mindyites. Thanks for hanging in there and hanging in with this show, which deserves more eyes than it probably gets. I’ll catch you in early 2017, probably right around the time that our country will somehow be inaugurating President Trump. God have mercy on our souls.

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