Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

The Masked Singer's Raccoon don't text

Danny Trejo as The Racoon on The Masked Singer
Danny Trejo as The Racoon on The Masked Singer
Photo: Michael Becker/FOX

Ken Jeong wass convinced Raccoon was Danny DeVito. And while the Masked Singer judge had a moment of clarity earlier this season, it’s usually safe to bet against Ken Jeong.

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The fifth season’s third episode of the singing competition series (yes, somehow there have already been four complete seasons of this thing) included performances by Group A, the group of singers viewers first saw on the season five premiere: Seashell, Raccoon, Robopine, and the Russian Dolls. Though they outlasted Snail—who was really Kermit the Frog...we’re serious about that—Group A was no smaller this week, as they welcomed a Wild Card named Orca. The judges seemed to think Orca is some rock legend even though he sounded like anyone’s drunk uncle at a family birthday party, but that’s beside the point since he was not the raspy-voiced singer sent packing at the end of Wednesday’s episode.

[Spoilers ahead.]

The singer with the lowest amount of votes this week (whatever that means, now that the show has no real live audience) was Raccoon. After a clue package that revealed the masked singer had started out as a boxer and trainer to an actor before becoming a star himself, followed by a performance of “Wild Thing,” the judges panel had guessed everyone from the aforementioned DeVito to Sylvester Stallone. But before Raccoon was unmasked, guest host Niecy Nash—still stepping in for COVID-positive Nick Cannon—reminded the panel of their “First Impression” guesses from week one, and offered Jeong, Jenny McCarthy, Nicole Scherzinger, and Robin Thicke a chance to change their votes. Here’s their initial guesses and final guesses:

Jenny McCarthy: Dustin Hoffman / Gary Busey
Nicole Scherzinger: Gary Busey / Sylvester Stallone
Robin Thicke: Danny DeVito / Tony Danza
Ken Jeong: Mike Tyson / Danny DeVito

But, in a shock to no one, they were all wrong and Raccoon was actually Machete himself, Danny Trejo. So at least Ken got the first name right?

A.V. Club Editor in Chief...but really just a She-Ra, Schitt’s Creek, Grey’s Anatomy, Survivor, Big Brother, Top Chef, The Good Place superfan.