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The League tackles their own “Deflategate”

Randall Cobb, Trojan Ribbed For Her Pleasure Condoms, Katie Aselton
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A wholly, unabashedly, solid episode. Every scene was pleasant, if not funny; no time is spent on a couch or watching a game, and a great cameo by an NFL star. There’s not much to complain about when it comes to the episode. Surprisingly plot-heavy, it feels like a solid first roll in bowling: When you’ve knocked down a good amount of pins, the question becomes “Will you drive it home for a spare?” Or manage a less impressive finish.

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We begin with Pete and the distressed, referee-less woman from the last episode, mid-fornication. Quick Q: What’s up with The League and people—male or female—wearing shirts while they have sex? A mystery for another day, perhaps. When they finish, Pete notices a wet spot (“90% her,” maybe “10% him”) on the bed, giving the bros fodder for their bar conversation. Taco truly shines here, blasting the guys for yet another conversation wherein someone brings up a body part or bodily function, and then they all try to come up with some term for it. A self-referential critique can sometimes feel a little too self-masturbatory, but the disgust and exasperation in LaJoie’s face as he points out his peers’ redundancy not only once, but a second time (as he leaves then rejoins the conversation not a minute later) seals the deal. It is no less delightful moments later when Taco sings the virtue of Cornhole, and how it’s a great, competitive activity they could all get into together. Not to mention that Taco’s continued, fantastical prowess of sex never disappoints.

Meanwhile, Ruxin can’t stand his firm’s new “family style” meal situation, pretending to be Kosher (or, “like, Jewish Jewish”). His boss quickly sees through the ruse—thank Yahweh—but forces Ruxin to play up the Jew card, as it were, to seal an account with a Rabbi. Throughout the episode, Frank “The Body” Gibiatti repeatedly attacks Andre for messing up his girlfriend’s eponymous “deflated titties,” mentioning that his lawyer would be around if he weren’t “studying the Torah,” leading me to believe there may be some crossover down the line. Or they just wanted to say “Jew” a lot in one episode. Frank asks Pete to testify against Andre in court (before slipping on Pete and his girlfriend’s wet spot), but we’re left hanging on a final decision.

Back on the wet spot front, Kevin mentions to the guys that he and Jenny don’t have to deal with it as they always use a condom. Jenny and Kevin have to go buy more, leading to a run in with Randall Cobb that serves as my favorite safe sex PSA to ever air on TV thus far, and my least favorite recurring joke (“slot-shaming”). Of course, Kevin and Jenny later have their own “wet spot” to deal with, when Kevin decides to go ahead and use an old pack of condoms he received from freshman orientation (“These were made in Yugoslavia…that’s not even a country anymore!”) The breaking of the condom forces a new bet: If Jenny has a better record, she gets her tubes tied, but if Kevin’s is better, he gets a vasectomy. For the record, a vasectomy tends to be safer and quicker, The More You Know!

While the episode is light on football games, Andre’s cut off hoodie and headset give a delightful Belicheck impression, and at dinner on the Sabbath, Ruxin is found out by the Rabbi when he uses his phone to pick up a quarterback on the waiver wire. The Rabbi chases him through the house, finding Taco sex-ing his wife; Ruxin informs the “Shabbas Goy” that there’s a wet spot to clean up.

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But then, sort of abruptly, the episode ends. Taco’s newfound affection for the game of cornhole, Giabatti’s lawsuit, Ruxin’s position at the firm, and Kevin’s seeming inability to master basic motor control of his hands: all left dangling. It makes sense for a final season to leave a few dangling threads, but this feels as close to a “To Be Continued” ending as The League’s ever gotten. They’ve set the pins up, now let’s see if they can knock them down.

Stray observations

  • Taco’s disgust with his friend’s paltry sex life: “Well are you having multiple orgasms? No, I mean, how many times do you come in a row while you’re having sex? Oh! Like ‘once,’ like for 45 minutes.”
  • Rob Riggle returns! On the topic of Ruxin’s Judaism: “You know, like Jewish Hannakuh Jewish, not Jewish Hat Jewish.”
  • Ruxin’s response: “Let’s not forget what happened in Germany…” “Ohh, right! The company retreat!”
  • Kevin’s phrasing for the clitoris: “Ah yes, the jewel of the south!”
  • Randall Cobb doling out safe sex tips for the kids with a “That’s fantasy! Let’s talk real life: An unplanned baby? That’s real.” I had to google out of curiosity but found nothing—does Randall Cobb have baby mama drama? Is he getting paid by Big Condom for the plug? Let me know!
  • Ruxin keeps a shaker bottle of bacon in a drawer. Are they laying the pipe for another Ruxin stroke?
  • Frank’s sexual preferences: “Do you speak English?” “Yes?” “Hard pass.”
  • Every Jew deserves a Shabbas Goy! You hear me? Every one of them!
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