Staring out at his gardeners from inside his home, Kevin posits a troubling query: where do they go to the bathroom, “I mean, have you seen the way they eat?” Now, there’s something a little offputting about watching a white, affluent male observing and commenting on the activities of the minority he’s hired—especially when the conversation spirals out to include the question of where and how cab drivers defecate, since that’s actually a very real problem, if you keep up with obscure deli news. When he goes outside and sees a large piece of feces under a plant, I was nervous. Until the next scene, when Pete announces he will be participating in The Beer Mile.

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Ah, yes, the pieces are falling into place, now. “This episode,” I thought to myself, a grin spreading across my face, “This episode will, without a shadow of a doubt, be about pooping yourself.”

This particular theme hits close to home for me, and my colon. As you all don’t—and shouldn’t—know, my sisters and I have intestinal troubles of varying degrees and severities. But, even without any specific diagnosis, the most common worry I’ve come to hear and share with my fellow joggers is the very real possibility—nay, eventuality—that, at some point, you will shit yourself on a run. Or, at least, come very, very close. The thought of tackling the issue in a positive, fun way, excited me. Maybe I’d have a good clip to send along to my sister with Ulcerative Colitis, to make her feel better about all the times she has shit herself (sorry Kelly!) Unfortunately, the episode never quite took off

Luckily, the “are our gardeners pooping in our yard?” question never swings down into the full-blown offensive—though it never manages to quite peak, either. Kevin tries to get an answer from his crew, but, through a miscommunication, invites the group of gardeners into his home and bathroom carte-blanch. Of course, a little later—and due to actual communication—Kevin accuses, who ends up quitting in response.

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While Kevin deals with mystery feces, his wife sows a seed of discord in the fertile soil that is Mandre. When Meegan complains to Jenny, asking how her and Kevin kept football from ruining their marriage before Jenny had her own team, Jenny replies that the most important thing is that Meegan retain final pick. Meegan takes the advice and runs with it, benching Brandin Cooks on Andre’s team who could have won him his game. This leads to a blow up between the two at The Beer Mile, with Meegan leaving Andre with naught but his kilt and a loss.

How has it taken this long to get a fun, female character onto this show? Not a straight (wo)man, like Jenny, but our own Andre—“Our Girl Ruxin,” even. Let’s call it: Meegan is fun. Meegan is funny. As the newest, overly revved up member of the league, she’s a breath of fresh air in an otherwise stale-ing season. And with so many of Andre’s usual interactions being contentious or combative, it’s a joy to watch Paul Scheer finally flex his comedic muscles with a teammate instead of an opponent. That’s why it’s so devastating to watch Meegan’s departure from the show at the conclusion of the episode. Of course, there are no certainties in love or football, but as of now it seems that this is the second (third, if we count Key and Peele) end of Meegan.

Unfortunately, Pete and his participation in The Beer Mile are largely relegated to the background. Besides providing an ok—not amazing, but ok—twist on the classic sports training montage between him and Taco, the only other function Pete’s colon serves is to give the gardener a moment of triumph when he tackles Pete outside Kevin’s house, mid-Yobogoya. With the crew already drinking breast milk and writhing around in each other’s various—sometimes surprising—juices on the reg, the pay-off of Pete’s colon explosion leaves one wanting more. More of what, though? Only The League can answer that.

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Stray observations

  • Andre and Meegan’s poorly improvised diss as a two-headed robot. My heart breaks knowing what is to come.
  • The beautiful, transitional fade between Kevin discovering a large piece of poop in his yard and musing upon it at lunch, could make even Truffaut sit a bit straighter in his chair.
  • Kevin on getting caught pooping in public so many times: “Everyone is out speeding, but I’m the only one who gets a ticket.”
  • Taco on “going” in the shower: “The only bad part is mashing it down afterwards.” And Taco’s reassurance after admitting he uses Kevin’s shower, and spatula, to mash it down: “Don’t worry, I lightly rinse it off afterwords.”
  • Taco’s devastating disqualification from The Beer Mile for smoking weed on the victor’s podium: “Apparently you’re not allowed to take mind enhancing drugs before, or after the race.”
  • The teeny tiny steps Andre and Meegan take towards each other—the little shimmy as they kiss: Please, someone make a Sarah MacLaughlin-tinged, Youtube-memorial video for this lost love.
  • Pete’s appraisal of Taco’s weed habits: “You’re smoking like a Serbian water polo coach.” That joke could not be more for me if I tied Mark Duplass to a chair and forced him to watch my entire childhood, Clockwork Orange style.
  • The end of Mandre: “I hate your skorts.” “I hate your jeggings!” :((((((

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