Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Thursday, December 5. All times are Eastern.
The Sound Of Music Live! (NBC, 8 p.m.): Oh, yeah. This is happening. This is a real thing. Carrie Underwood is going to headline a live, three-hour production of the beloved musical that still makes us cry when we watch it, and we don't understand why, because it's not going to be as good, and nothing is going to look right, and look, Christopher Plummer is just really, really handsome in the original. Still, NBC is doubling down on this weird thing, giving it all of Thursday night's "Must See TV" primetime space. Who's going to watch this? Are we all going to watch it? Is Julie Andrews going to watch it? Do you think she's going to watch it and cackle, in her perfect, melodious voice? Caroline Siede can't be sure, but she will be covering this behemoth for us, so bring your best renditions of "Edelweiss" to the table.
The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 8 p.m.): Leonard disproves Sheldon's scientific theory, which is hilarious. We are fine with more plotlines that disprove Sheldon's anything. Oliver Sava calls dibs on relativity.
The Vampire Diaries (The CW, 8 p.m.): Nina struggles with her demons, Elena grows concerned about Damon, Stefan struggles with his own pain, and Aaron decides on a desperate course of action. Carrie Raisler takes notes to write a review.
Misfits (Hulu, 8 p.m.): It's the first anniversary of the Storm. And Rudy is so scared by the future sweater that Maggie gives to Jess that she ends their relationship. Rowan Kaiser would be similarly worried by a future sweater, if he knew what that was.
Reign (CW, 9 p.m.): Mary and Francis unite to save a castle under siege! Mary and Francis unite to save a castle under siege! Fary and Mancis untie to cave a sastle sunder ueige! Genevieve Valentine subs for Caroline Framke tonight. Neither of them like our jokes much.
Glee (Fox, 9 p.m.): Tonight's midseason finale is titled "Previously Unaired Christmas," which is confusing us. It doesn't appear to actually be a previously unaired episode, because everyone is still doing all the stuff they've been doing for the whole fifth season. Do you ever worry that Glee is just lying to you? Because Brandon Nowalk knows they are.
The Returned (Sundance, 9 p.m.): An electrical outage strikes the town, and Camille is now viewed by some as a prophet. Erik Adams knows the feeling.
White Collar (USA, 9 p.m.): Neal gets obsessed with the Codex, and Peter takes a case with an FBI agent who happens to be his ex-girlfriend. We had a dream, no lie, where White Collar got crossed over with NPR. It was strange. But anyway, Kenny Herzog is going to review this one, and also, not talk about his dreams.
Elementary (CBS, 10 p.m.): An investigation goes wrong, so Holmes has to take the witness stand to defend himself—and protect he and Watson's work with the NYPD. Myles McNutt will also be testifying, later in the evening.
Scandal (ABC, 10 p.m.): This midseason finale promises to be a game-changer, as the suspense of the fall comes to a head. Also, the episode is literally titled "YOLO." Sonia Saraiya will be holding a prayer circle for our innocence, at 10 p.m.
TV CLUB CLASSIC
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (11 a.m.): Zack Handlen’s Outer Space Fictional Station Support Group will be meeting at the usual time, in the usual location. Please make sure the pod bay doors are closed before opening the airlock.
WHAT ELSE IS ON?
Duck Dynasty (A&E, marathon): There will be episodes of the dynasty of ducks starting at 7 a.m. and ending at 3:30 a.m. All of the ducks. All of the dynasties.
Extreme Cheapskates (Discovery Fitness & Health, marathon): From 4 p.m. to 1 a.m., the cheapskates will run this channel. We are not sure how cheapskates relate to health, or fitness, or discovery. But we are eager to find out.
Rent Or Buy (HGTV, 9 p.m.): Two new episodes: “A Big Career Change Means A Big Move For A Savannah Couple” and “Chris Must Decide How Close To Live To His Girlfriend Karen In Downtown Baltimore.” We Are Not Even Making Those Titles Up.
The Devil You Know (Investigation Discovery, 10 p.m.): A son who helped his father fight cancer learns his dad had a double life as a secret agent.
Jackie Brown (Encore, 8 p.m.): Quentin Tarantino's 1997 take on blaxploitation, featuring Pam Grier and Samuel L. Jackson. Based on an Elmore Leonard novel.
A Raisin In The Sun (TCM, 9:45 p.m.): The 1961 classic by Lorraine Hansberry about a black family in a Chicago tenement. Starring Sidney Poitier as Walter Lee Younger—a reprise of his interpretation of the same role, in the same script, in its Broadway premiere.
Thursday Night Football: Texans At Jaguars (NFLN, 8:25 p.m.): ESPN's last college football matchup of the season is decidedly anticlimactic, because [some stuff we don't understand but read about on Twitter occurred and people were very upset or excited about it]. So here, have some NFL fanfiction: The Texans circle the jaguars, brandishing their lassos. The jaguars purr softly, revving their British-engines, sporting a paint-job inspired by jungle cats. It's anyone's game. The crowd is tense. The game is about to start. The day of reckoning is at hand.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
South Park: With just one episode left before the finale, South Park blows it out of the park with a continuation of the Game Of Thrones parody whose anime Kenny ("Kenny-chan"!) jumps out of a building and lands, gracefully, with the help of a parachute. (He splats later.) Marcus Gilmer enjoyed it immensely.