Oh, Matt James. You giveth and you taketh away on your Bachelor season. At least you had the good sense to boot MJ (Meredith!) over Jessenia, so that the house felt blessedly toxic-free again… for about one hot minute. That’s how long it took for the worthless Serena C. to go after Katie for… well, we’re not sure exactly, since all Katie has tried to do is rid the house of Mean Girls and be true to herself.
So that’s the thing, Matt. You boot MJ, but keep Serena C over Brittany, Ryan, and worst of all, Magi? What in the world?
Did anyone else feel just kind of exhausted when this episode kicked off? Like, oh yeah, I forgot we were in the middle of these two women sniping at each other. Then that scene blessedly ended, but in a matter of comments we were smack dab in the middle of another one. At least Katie stood up for herself and refused to be taken down by Serena’s ridiculousness. If she does turn out to be the next Bachelorette as some rumors predict, I’m actually psyched to see what a season like hers could look like, because with her in charge, all this constantly rising drama would hopefully be at a minimum.
But first, we must wade through the second half of this season, wherein Matt throws a cute one-on-one carnival date with Pieper, and I believe has made out with the majority of the women who remain, so lots of good options: Chelsea, Abigail, Bri, Michelle. Honestly, I get why he sent Katie home, because the two seemed like buds more than anything.
Granted, it’s not like Katie received the most romantic date in the world: Anyone else a little uncomfortable with the “Torture Tyler C” -themed date, especially when they were advising the masseuse on nipple twisting? But Tyler C is always welcome (and would still make a great Bachelor), even though his advice (“Be yourself!”) wasn’t exactly earth-shattering, And props to the producers for figuring out more ways for Tyler to take his shirt off (a massage! Why not?) But the writing was on the wall for Katie regardless.
Matt was easily more romantic with any of the other women who remain than he was with Katie. He does have a great way of making even the shortest couch conversation seem intimate (all the kissing doesn’t hurt, even moreso if he actually closes his eyes.) That’s why at this point in The Bachelor, when we’d usually see a few frontrunners, it still seems like it’s anyone’s game, as he genuinely appears to have some steamy chemistry with the majority of the women that are left. With hometowns only a few weeks away, Matt’s going to have to make some really tough calls pretty soon. Maybe he should have saved Tyler’s visit for a more crucial week?
- Like Victoria, MJ is a woman who says her heart is so big when really her heart is a dumpster fire. Maybe just avoid anyone who says, “My heart is so big,” because people whose hearts really are that big don’t have to broadcast it.
- Am so curious about the behind-the-scenes machinations that led to Heather’s appearance on the show. The cameras were there when she drove up in her minivan, so obviously the show knew she was coming. But did she really do all of this on her own, or did The Bachelor put her up to it to try to stoke more interest in this not-great-ratings season? I mean, Chris Harrison is hardly a good enough actor to even feign realistic surprise at her arrival. And then she quarantined? Why did she storm the show in the first place? As usual, I blame Hannah Brown, for everything.
- Kit referred to the cancelling of the the last two “rose ceremonies”; um, those were the cocktail parties, Kit. At least one of those rose ceremonies still happened.
- “Some friend,” exactly, Katie.
- I like to think that Tyler’s pink T-shirt was a shoutout to the mysterious salmon jacket of his Bachelorette season that Jed even wrote a song about.
- I liked the “What the heck?”/”What the fuck!?” transition upon Heather’s arrival from Matt to Pieper.
- Do you think Heather has an actual job yet?
- I also like how the girls practically moan when Chris Harrison enters the room now, as he is likely the harbinger of doom (and/or cancelled cocktail parties).
- Hey, remember Sarah?
- Next week: Once again, our group of Bachelorettes turns on an outsider like a pack of frickin’ vipers.