Here’s what’s happening in the world of television for Monday, January 7. All times are Eastern.
The Bachelor (ABC, 8 p.m., 23rd season premiere): This three-hour season premiere—three hours—sees Colton Underwood begin his third season in the Bachelorverse, this time as the titular bachelor. The aw-shucks Indiana native, who might have mentioned once or twice that he’s a virgin, will meet the women he will or will not present with roses over the course of the episode, which is, again, three hours long. There will be entrances. There will be weird gimmicks. There will be glasses of wine—lots of them. And if we had to put money on it, we’d guess that the fact that Colton is a virgin will come up once or twice.
Maybe you watch The Bachelor because you love it. Maybe you watch it out of something like morbid curiosity. Maybe you don’t watch it at all. Regardless, you won’t be able to avoid it for at least 24 hours, and more likely until the season ends. Get used to Aw-Shucks Colton. He’s about to be everywhere.
Steven Universe (Cartoon Network, 7:30 p.m.)
Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club (MTV, 10 p.m.): Speaking of things you watch either because you love it or out of something like morbid curiosity, Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club is a docuseries about Lindsay Lohan opening a beach club in Mykonos, Greece. The once and former Cady Heron “expands her business empire” with a “handpicked team of young and ambitious VIP hosts who will have to do whatever it takes to secure Lohan’s name as the definition of vacation luxury.” The network promises romance and friendship, which probably means drama and betrayal, so that’s fun.