Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

South Park: Whale Whores

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Hey kids, sorry I’m a little late. As you may have heard, we recently released a book, and tonight we had a reading. But now I’m back to and committed to chatting with y’all, yet again, about the show we used to love but now mostly just like.


Or, in the case of tonight’s show, that we’re slightly confused by and don’t laugh at very much at all. I’ve never seen Whale Wars, and I don’t know anybody that’s ever seen Whale Wars. Do you guys watch Whale Wars? I was only vaguely aware that the show even existed, and was confused that South Park would spend an entire episode attacking something that seems so culturally insignificant. This is the show that made me giggle by insisting that Tom Cruise come out of the closet he’s hiding in, not the one (or so I thought) that took shots at a dude who tries to disrupt Japanese whaling ships.

Okay, the first scene was pretty damn funny, with all the Japanese people attacking the aquarium, and especially Stan’s souvenirs. But man, when the attack turned to this cable-TV show, the laughs really just stopped. The show’s star, Paul Watson, seems to have really pissed off Parker and Stone (or maybe just Parker these days, eh?)—apparently he’s a super hypocritical douche who’s more interested in fame than actually saving whales. Fine, but could you make me laugh a few times while you beat me over the head with information about a guy that I couldn’t care less about?


Ehh, apparently not. Some of the incidental stuff in tonight’s episode was funny, like Cartman singing Lady Gaga on Rock Band and singing the blues in jail, and the punchline to the show (the photo, which I won’t spoil) gave me a little giggle. And please don’t accuse me of being a left-winger who can’t take criticism of the left: I’m as anti-hypocrisy as South Park, but only if I get to laugh. That’s their job, first and foremost, and this one mostly sank like a stone. (Instead of floating like a dead whale.)

Stray observations:

— “Fuck you, dolphin!”

— Randy Marsh: “I wanna kiss it!”

— Using Godzilla to drive away the Japanese was pretty funny, as were the kamikaze attacks on the whales.


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