Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Wednesday, September 25. All times are Eastern.

South Park (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.):
It’s been an uncustomarily long time without a new episode of South Park. Indeed, the last episode aired in November, a day after the presidential election, and Trey Parker and Matt Stone sat out their usual batch of episodes in the spring, in order to conserve energy for the start of this, their 17th season of animated mayhem. The episode is called “Let Go, Let Gov,” and we don’t know anything about it. (Wikipedia suggests Cartman will play Edward Snowden.) Heck, we didn’t even know that was the title until a few days ago. Depending on who’s sufficiently girded for battle, either Marcus Gilmer or Ryan McGee will be checking out the season premiere.


The Middle (ABC, 8 p.m.):
It’s been a while since we last saw the Heck family, but life continues on as usual for everyone’s favorite Indianans (give or take a Ron Swanson or Leslie Knope). Will Harris is excited to see what happens when Axl goes to college. Okay, excited and a little scared, naturally.

Revolution (NBC, 8 p.m.): Les Chappell swore this show off last spring, but over the long summer, he realized he missed it so. Okay, he realized he missed it, and the creator gave a bunch of interviews acknowledging that season one was kind of a dud and he was going to fix season two. Good luck, Les!


Survivor (CBS, 8 p.m.): So far, this “former castaways vs. their loved ones” premise is just playing out like our last family Thanksgiving, but we’re hopeful it will result in someone tearfully sacrificing their wife to an angry volcano god. Carrie Raisler wishes every season featured more human sacrifices.

Modern Family (ABC, 9 p.m.): America’s (still) reigning “best comedy” Emmy winner returns for another hour of light-hearted japes, straight out of Reader’s Digest’s “Life In These United States” feature, only one exclusively for rich people. Donna Bowman is out, so Joe Reid picks up the torch of comedic foibles.

The Bridge (FX, 10 p.m.): If you haven’t watched this show yet, please skip past this capsule, because—spoiler alert—the killer was put behind bars last week. What will the series be about now? Would you believe it feels like the third season of Veronica Mars a little bit? Molly Eichel does. Listen to her words!


Broadchurch (BBC America, 10 p.m.): It’s the final episode of this, so Danny Lattimer’s killer will probably just raise his or her hand in a lineup and say, “Okay, it was me. I’m so tired of seeing everyone cry.” Then Gwen Ihnat will cry, and the town of Broadchurch will cry, and we’ll all find some healing.

It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (FXX, 10 p.m.): The title of the episode is “Mac And Dennis Buy A Timeshare,” and that promises hilarity. Dennis Perkins once bought a timeshare. He operates his illegal koala running operation out of it. Oh, you didn’t know about that? Dennis can totally get you a koala.

Nashville (ABC, 10 p.m.): A first season that veered from a promising pilot to a muddled mess to a weird, campy soap opera to a muddled mess again finally drove Todd VanDerWerff off, even though he usually seeks out punishment. Gwen Ihnat steps in and hopes this gets better, because it’s on notice.


Key And Peele (Comedy Central, 10:30 p.m.): You’re probably seen the second “football names” sketch already because it’s been up online for forever, but it makes its official television debut tonight. Brandon Nowalk will be choosing one of those names and using it as his own from now on. Please remember this.

The League (FXX, 10:30 p.m.): Rafi and Dirty Randy are headed to Los Angeles to avenge their murdered friend, and Pilot Viruet, perhaps not coincidentally, is also headed to Los Angeles, only she’s going to avenge the death of her beloved, murdered Mr. Sunshine. Bring back Mr. Sunshine, TV! You hear?

Back In The Game (ABC, 8:30 p.m.):
Remember when ABC had The Middle running into Suburgatory running into Modern Family running into Happy Endings running into Revenge a couple years ago, and it was just about perfect? David Sims weeps for those days with his review of this middling new sitcom.


Criminal Minds/C.S.I.: Crime Scene Investigation (CBS, 9 p.m.): Between the premieres of these two and the premiere of the next show, Wednesday night might as well be called “death night.” The presence of The Bridge and Broadchurch over on cable certainly doesn’t help matters in this regard.

Law & Order: SVU (NBC, 9 p.m.): The 15th season begins with two episodes that aren’t a two-parter. In the first, the team rushes to catch up to Benson before even more horrible things can happen to her. In the second, a mysterious child turns up in Times Square in an elaborate homage to Kasper Hauser.

Skeletons Of The Sahara (PBS, 10 p.m.): PBS heard about Death Night and decided it wanted a piece of that action, so here’s a special about the discovery of a massive cemetery in the Sahara Desert 5,000 years older than the Pyramids. Sure, PBS! Ruin Death Night with all your “educational programming.”


Argo (HBO, 8 p.m.): Have you ever seen this movie with a crowd full of old people? Everything Alan Arkin does, they eat it up, especially when he says “Argo fuck yourself,” which is the stupidest fucking catchphrase ever. Anyway, this is a fun movie, but Best Picture fun? Not on your life, good sirs.

Liar Liar (ABC Family, 9 p.m.): Is this Jim Carrey’s finest performance? Obviously not, since he was so good in The Truman Show and Man In The Moon and Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, but there’s still a comedic purity to his work here he hasn’t reached since. This is his ne plus ultra, if you will.

MLB Baseball: Rays at Yankees (ESPN, 7 p.m.): The Rays have a comfortable one-game cushion for the top wild card slot in the American League. The Yankees need to win practically every last game and have a bunch of other stuff go right to slide past the Indians, Rangers, and Royals into the playoffs. This should be a fun match-up.


Person Of Interest (Tuesday):
Our favorite CBS crime drama—give or take whatever Elementary does this season—returns to strut a little bit about how it basically predicted the summer’s NSA scandals via metaphor. Phil Dyess-Nugent will be there, strutting along beside it, because he told us all in February.