Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Tuesday, August 11. All times are Eastern.
Hard Knocks (HBO, 10 p.m.): Assuming all the concussions and domestic violence charges and phony judicial systems and just the general tiresome maintenance of all the worst aspects of unexamined American orthodoxy—assuming all that hasn’t turned you off the modern NFL, have we got the show for you! HBO is back with the latest round of its Hard Knocks profiles of teams preparing to go to war or do battle or whatever other entirely inappropriate martial metaphor is carelessly employed to describe the preparation for the coming season, and this year defensive megastar J.J. Watt and the Houston Texans are up. And, just in case you feel like you can reconcile yourself with all those previously mentioned issues with professional football, good news! The Texans kick off the show with a joint practice with the Washington Redskins, just to remind you that’s a whole other controversy any mildly socially conscious fan has to go ahead and reckon with. Fun times all round, is what we’re saying. (Also, we promise we’re not normally this whinging and joyless. Usually we’re way, way worse than this.)
Wet Hot American Summer: First Day Of Camp (Netflix, 1 p.m.): The hectic TCA schedule means Joshua Alston has gotten a little off schedule with his reviews, but all should be well now. The next review is up today, with the final two coming Thursday and Saturday.
Playing House (USA, 10 p.m.): Maggie agrees to direct a play by her best friend’s estranged mother, Gwen, which means a featured role for the always welcome Jane Kaczmarek. Though we haven’t seen this show, our familiarity with Kaczmarek’s work on Malcolm In The Middle makes us feel pretty confident her character puts the “strange” in “estranged mother.” Yeah … Molly Eichel is so annoyed with us right now.
Another Period (Comedy Central, 10:30 p.m.): “Beatrice reverts to babyhood to deal with Frederick’s engagement.” This is one of those sentences where we understand all the component words, and even the key phrases make sense and can be strung together logically in a sensible sequence, yet the overall sentence is still something that should only make sense to a complete crazy person. (Ahem, LaToya Ferguson.) Not that we’d have it any other way, you understand.
Scream: The TV Series (MTV, 10:30 p.m.): LaToya Ferguson has officially said all that ever needs to be said about this …thing, and strangely no other reviewer has stepped up to fill the void. So yeah, you better damn well believe we’re done with this shit.
King Of The Hill (adult swim, 8:30 p.m.): One of the darkest King Of The Hill episodes finds recent Oscar nominee Michael Keaton voicing an unhinged business tycoon with a pig fixation. No, seriously, this one is some dark shit. Keaton is great though.
Live Free Or Die: Down & Dirty (National Geographic, 9 p.m.): At this point, it feels like National Geographic and the like have launched so many reality shows about people dropping out of modern society to live off the grid that they could build an entire working society out of all those iconoclastic loner outcasts. We bet they’d really enjoy that togetherness!
Startup U (ABC Family, 10 p.m.): Because teenagers apparently aren’t bad enough by their own damn selves, here comes a new reality show that takes 10 such youngsters and has them launch their own small businesses. Yep, that’d be a bunch of teen entrepreneurs we’re talking about, and apparently some manner of YouTube young business sensation is going to stop by to wish them all luck. So yeah, there’s some rough stuff going on over here.
The Agent (Esquire TV, 10 p.m.): If Hard Knocks and/or your pangs of conscience haven’t already given you your fill of all things NFL, this new series profiles four agents for professional football players as they help their clients navigate the business side of the league. Honestly, since this is all about those living behind the scenes in the NFL, the correct question to ask here is, “How Ballers is this?” We’re guessing … pretty dang Ballers, all things considered, even without the Rock on hand.
The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen (IFC, 8 p.m.): Hey, anyone want to see the movie so awful it forced Sean Connery into retirement? We’d point out it also royally pissed off Alan Moore, but that doesn’t really narrow it down any. (And, in fairness, Alan Moore generally has entirely justifiable reasons to be royally pissed off by the things that do so royally piss him off, this atrocity of a film very much included. We’re just way too weak to resist such low-hanging fruit.)
Grown Ups 2 (Starz, 7:10 p.m.): Meanwhile, not a single person from this monstrosity felt sufficiently ashamed to give up acting forever. We’re still working on finding out Alan Moore’s precise opinion on all this.
UEFA Super Cup Soccer: Barcelona vs. Sevilla (FS1, 9 p.m.): European football is still just getting warmed up for the new season, so why not have some fun with a pair of Spanish sides taking each other on in scenic Tbilisi, Georgia?
Wander Over Yonder: If nothing else, this show might have our favorite title of anything currently airing. It’s just so poetic and fun to say! Okay, now go read Kevin Johnson’s review to find everything else the show has to offer.