Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Wednesday, September 3. All times are Eastern.
The League (FXX, 10 p.m.): It might be easy to forget that FXX is home to anything other than The Simpsons, but The League is back to remind all of us that there is still room for live-action antics, especially from some of the worst people ever. Last season, Jenny finally won the Shiva Bowl, and now her husband Kevin has to come to grips with the fact that his wife is the reigning and defending champion. He will most likely do so in a perfectly mature way, like a rational adult, and not create chaos within his household and his entire life. Pilot Viruet’s review will surely confirm that.
Just kidding! He’ll most likely cause a scene, perhaps in front of a professional football player who just so happens to be in town. It’s classic The League, and that’s why we love it. Also because of the Shiva song:
So You Think You Can Dance (Fox, 8 p.m.): And the winner is… America. We watched, we laughed, we cried, we voted, we slept. We deserve a little celebration and recognition. So tonight, America’s Favorite Dancer is actually all of us. Each and every one of us. You’re welcome, Nigel. You’re welcome, Justin Bieber. You’re welcome, blind Valerie.
Extant (CBS, 10 p.m.): This week, Extant goes back to its regular time slot with one episode instead of two, with the last two episodes of the season airing back-to-back next week. If you haven’t been watching, now is probably not the best time to jump in—go back, watch, and catch up on Sonia Saraiya’s reviews. But if you have been watching, then hopefully the idea of Molly’s offspring’s powers growing intrigues you. Because honestly, that sounds horrifying.
Ali G: Rezurection (FXX, 10:30 p.m.): After The League, FXX also has the second season premiere of Ali G: Rezurection, the network’s re-broadcasting of Da Ali G Show. In tonight’s episode, “FBI,” Ali G learns all about the FBI and jams with Mohamed Al-Fayed. That sounds about right.
The Bridge (FX, 10 p.m.)
In his One Season Wonders, Weirdos, And Wannabes piece, Oliver Sava explains just how ahead of its time The Comeback was, as well as how it really took a bite out of the entertainment industry. Somewhere, Valerie Cherish’s heart is growing three sizes over the praise and admiration.
Also, Erik Adams and Sonia Saraiya have TV Reviews of a few of Amazon’s newest sitcom pilots—Red Oaks, The Cosmopolitans, and Really. Read on and judge each pilot accordingly.
Legends (TNT, 9 p.m.): Sean Bean remains in the land of the living. Legends remains the outlier.
Couples Therapy: Reunion (VH1, 9 p.m.): It’s the hour-long first part of the reunion show, because if there’s one thing a show about couples therapy needs, it’s to continue to systematically ruin these people’s relationships long after the actual show.
Taxi Brooklyn (NBC, 10 p.m.): Assuming you are watching this show yourself and not just through the lens of Joel McHale’s snark on The Soup, then this week’s episode may be of interest to you. After all, it is titled “Frenchmen Can’t Jump,” which is pretty much one of the best episode titles ever.
Wahlburgers (A&E, 10 p.m.): This week’s episode—“An American Wahlberg In London”—has Donnie getting homesick while on tour with the New Kids On The Block, so Paul tries to cheer him up. Perhaps he tries to cheer him up with a hamburger? Or has Donnie become so jaded by what Wahlburgers has become that he doesn’t even enjoy the taste of hamburgers anymore?
Graceland (USA, 10 p.m.): Graceland’s second season has been all about breaking up of the family unit within Graceland, so now USA has decided to break up the season finale into two separate parts, with part one being tonight. You’re tearing this family apart, USA.
Make Or Break: The Linda Perry Project (VH1, 11 p.m.): This is the first season finale of the Linda Perry competitive reality show that was supposed to change the music industry for the better, according to Linda Perry in all of the ads for the show before it premiered. Based on the VMAs, it hasn’t happened yet. Maybe it will happen in the finale.
The Dark Knight (TNT, 5:30 p.m.): Quick! Rank every Batman film since Tim Burton’s Batman! Then watch The Dark Knight, because it’s the only one of those movies that’s on tonight.
Never Been Kissed (E!, 4:30 p.m.): The teen romantic comedy that gave us so many questions. Was Mr. Coulson the biggest creep alive for falling in love with his student, even though Josie was technically in her mid-20s? Was David Arquette really plausible as the Coolest Guy Alive? Were Guy and Aldys secretly in love? The answers to two of those three questions are basically yes, but that doesn’t make them any less important questions to ask.
Step Up 2: The Streets (ABC Family, 6:30 p.m.): How exactly does one step up “2” the streets? It’s a bit difficult to explain, just like an electric boogaloo or an into darkness. We’re not even sure if watching this movie will answer the question. But it won’t hurt.
The Fast And The Furious (USA, 8 p.m.): If you prefer a little more testosterone in your basic cable film experience, then strap in and take a ride with the movie that started it all, The Fast And The Furious. It’s at least guaranteed to have a lot more nu-metal than all of the Step Up films combined.
Varsity Blues (CMT, 8 p.m.): If the Point Break nature of The Fast And The Furious doesn’t really appeal to you, but still want to get your Paul Walker fix and your testosterone pumping, there is the alternative in Varsity Blues. The Fast And The Furious may have sequels upon sequels (just like Step Up), but Varsity Blues has this:
U.S Open Tennis: Quarterfinals (ESPN, 12 p.m./ESPN2, 6 p.m.): All you need is tennis. Tennis is all you need.
MLB Baseball: Red Sox at Yankees (ESPN, 7 p.m.): You didn’t hear this from us, but supposedly these two teams have some sort of history. We’re just saying. Keep that in mind if you choose to watch this game.
The Shield (Classic): Brandon Nowalk writes about that grenade. That damn grenade.