Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Friday, March 21, and Saturday, March 22. All times are Eastern.

Hannibal (NBC, 10 p.m., Friday):
We really do try to vary the things we choose for the top pick here, and we just chose Hannibal a few weeks ago when it returned. But fuck it. This episode is awesome, and we hope that all of you will enjoy it as much as we did, which mostly involved us giggling madly for hours on end about its awesome sauce-ity. Molly Eichel will have thoughts on everything that happened after the episode airs, and don’t forget to come back Saturday morning to hear Bryan Fuller’s thoughts on the episode!


Raising Hope (Fox, 9 p.m./9:30 p.m., Friday):
With Black Sails over and Saturday Night Live on a mini-hiatus, we have so little stuff on TV this weekend that all we have to do to reduce our workload is mention Phil Dyess-Nugent’s reviews of this show again. Piece of cake!

Grimm (NBC, 9 p.m., Friday): This week’s episode is entitled “The Show Must Go On,” which is wholly appropriate for a show that was just renewed for a fourth season. Man, and to think back to that fall of 2011, when we were sure this show was a goner. Kevin McFarland sure showed us!


Helix (Syfy, 10 p.m., Friday): Just one more episode before we get to the surely epic season finale! Actually, when Syfy sent us the screener for the finale, we just skipped to the end to figure out what happened. (No, we’re not telling you.) We hope Sonia Saraiya can forgive us for wanting to know.

The X-Files (Saturday, 1 p.m.):
There are only a couple of X-Files episodes we just refuse to rewatch on general principle, but one of them is “William.” Fortunately for us, Zack Handlen will be reviewing that one this week, as we enter the home stretch of our reviews of this program.


Doctor Who (Classic) (Saturday, 3 p.m.): What will Christopher Bahn be covering this week? We could look it up, but we’re much more interested in guessing and having him shake his head in despair. Is this the week the Doctor arm wrestles with William Howard Taft, the walrus of presidents?

We’ve got plenty of material that may be of interest to you going up today. Let’s start with Sonia Saraiya’s TV Review of American Dream Builders, NBC’s new reality show about the people who construct your dreams. It’s not actually about that? Aw. That sucks.


Genevieve Valentine makes her debut in the For Our Consideration area, where she spins off of Brooklyn Nine-Nine to talk about just why so many romantic comedy heroes are such endless creeps in pursuing their lady loves.

Plus, we have one of our world-famous Random Roles interviews from Will Harris! This week, we’re talking to Silas Weir Mitchell, who stars on Grimm, but, mostly importantly, also played Haywire on Prison Break, whose story involved looking at a painting and then trying to go sailing to Amsterdam.

Whose Line Is It Anyway/Hart Of Dixie (The CW, 8 p.m./9 p.m., Friday):
Figuring, we suppose, that things can’t get much worse, The CW has decided to launch its spring slate opposite the NCAA Tournament. Granted, the ratings for that aren’t that great, but c’mon, CW. Do your job!


The Neighbors (ABC, 8:30 p.m., Friday): ABC is also burning off another episode of this opposite the basketball good times, sans any sort of lead-in whatsoever. It’s on before a new episode of Shark Tank, but we all know the Sharks eat college basketball players for breakfast.

Sons Of Guns (Discovery, 9 p.m. Friday): Somewhere in this great land of ours, there’s going to be a serious DVR conflict when someone wants to watch basketball but will have to cancel their recording of this to do so. That scream of incoherent rage you hear will be Todd VanDerWerff’s.

Diners, Drive-Ins, & Dives (Food Network, 10 p.m., Friday): Guy Fieri heads for places that are famous for being open 24 hours, because Guy Fieri is in the waning days of his metamorphosis, and he must feed when the moon is at its fullest. The time for sustenance is now, Guy Fieri! Do not tarry!


Sorority Surrogate (Lifetime, 8 p.m., Saturday): “Wow, what if a woman in her 20s carried a baby to term for some people who really wanted to have a baby, but couldn’t for some medical reason?” said the person who came up with this movie. “Really makes you think!” said Lifetime.

Renovation Realities (DIY, 9 p.m., Saturday): This is just a half-hour of people being turned down for the bank loans they had hoped to obtain to be able to renovate their houses. It’s a crushing show, really.

Wanted (FX, 8 p.m., Friday): This movie is stupid as hell, but it sure is fun to look at. The special effects are pretty impressive, and Angelina Jolie is agreeably badass in her role as “Angelina Jolie badass.”


Aliens (Sundance, 9 p.m., Friday): Yeah, Alien is probably better, but this is our favorite movie in the series. There’s just something so ruthless and exciting about the way that it takes everybody into Hell and back.

The Goonies (ABC Family, 9 p.m., Saturday): Let’s see if we can summon some people from the rest of the Internet. *takes deep breath* GOONIES SUCKS!!!!!!!

NCAA Basketball Tournament, Second-round action (CBS, 7 p.m., Friday): We know it’s technically true, but the play-in game being the “first-round” of the tournament will never feel right to us.


College Wrestling: NCAA Championships (ESPN, 8 p.m., Saturday): Yeah, but could any of these guys beat Daniel Bryan right now? *starts chant of “YES!” in comments section*

Portlandia (Thursday):
Les Chappell is wondering just why this show hasn’t yet introduced a character who happens to be a behatted freelance television critic who lives and works in Portland. Why, the possibilities are endless for popular sketch character Wes Mappell!