Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Wednesday, August 19. All times are Eastern.
Duck Dynasty (A&E, 9 p.m.): Duck Dynasty still exists, and as such, surely people will care that this is the one-hour eight season finale. “John Luke Gets Hitched,” and we only assume it’s to a woman named “Mark Matthew.” Get it? It’s because of the apostles. Don’t judge us—there have been eight seasons of this show.
Mr. Robinson (NBC, 9/9:30 p.m.): And so it ends. The first season finale of Mr. Robinson is here, even though we’re pretty sure it premiered five minutes ago. The last two episodes of the season are “Can’t Buy Me Love” and “School’s Out For Summer,” which makes us realize we’ve been looking at Mr. Robinson the wrong way all this (short) time. Duck Dynasty is about the apostles (duh), and Mr. Robinson is about time travel. This changes… absolutely nothing. Hooray for the top of the picks.
Key & Peele (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.)
Mr. Robot (USA, 10 p.m.)
Remember Skin? No, not Skins. And not MTV’s Skins. Skin—Fox’s gritty Romeo And Juliet adaptation from 2003. Her father was a pornographer, his father was the district attorney: It was a whole thing. LaToya Ferguson went back into that whole thing to write about the series for the latest One Season Wonders, Weirdos, and Wannabes. Her father is not the district attorney, but she thinks she gets it.
But if you’re interested in reading about shows that are already renewed past their first season, then you can read Noel Murray’s pre-air TV Review of Fear The Walking Dead. We’re really just hoping Noel Murray understands that we are the real walking dead. Otherwise, what is the point, Noel?!?
By the way, have you heard about The Man From U.N.C.L.E.? Based on the trailers for the movie, it’s a homoerotic thrill ride about Armie Hammer and Henry Cavill (one that was allegedly stolen from a certain What’s On Tonight contributor’s dream journal). But before it was that, it was a TV show. In fact, according to Sarah Kurchak’s For Our Consideration piece, the “sexy ‘60s spy drama” was “dumbed down” for that feature film version. You should read up and find out how.
Young & Hungry (ABC Family, 8 p.m.): Midway through its second season, Young & Hungry has apparently given up on even trying with its episode title format; the second season summer premiere is called “Young & How Gabi Got Her Job Back.” There isn’t even an attempt to make that flow. But to everyone who watches Young & Hungry, if you were at all worried Gabi wouldn’t get her job back, you can breathe a sigh of relief. For the rest of you, watch this:
America’s Next Top Model (The CW, 8 p.m.): “The remaining models must do a runway walk on shipping containers raised high above the ground and if they make it across, they will remain in the competition.” If nothing else, America’s Next Top Model deserves all of the respect in the world for managing to mine 22 seasons out of creating the most arbitrary criteria ever for becoming a model.
MasterChef (Fox, 8 p.m): This week’s MasterChef says “A Storm’s A-Brewing,” and if you read these Wednesday What’s On Tonights regularly, you know how much we appreciate MasterChef’s episode titles and their wordplay. Sadly, the storm that is “a-brewing” is coffee instead of beer, but you can’t win them all with MasterChef. Or can you? The pressure test in this episode requires the replication of an “elaborate party platter,” which could have beer—we just don’t know yet. Don’t let us down, Chef Ramsay.
America’s Got Talent (NBC, 8 p.m.): “Live Results 2,” you say, America’s Got Talent? What does this code mean? We’d say watch and find out, but some of life’s mysteries should just stay mysteries. Basically, America’s Got Talent is the biggest mystery since USA’s Dig.
Thrill Factor (Travel Channel, 8/8:30 p.m.): “Senseless 1,300-Foot Swing.” Nope. (There’s also an episode at 8:30, but with a title like “Best Seat In The House,” that’s not as fun to completely shut down.)
Unsung Hollywood (TV One, 8 p.m.): The second season finale sees a focus on Sammy Davis Jr. and how “jungle fever almost [killed]” him. That should be fun.
Kevin From Work (ABC Family, 8:30 p.m.): Kevin From Work already has a new time slot in its second week, which is always a good sign for a freshman series.
Extant (CBS, 9 p.m.): First of all, Louis Gossett Jr. is returning as Molly’s father, and we’re betting he has a lot to say about that’s happening on Extant—it’s kind of a crazy show. This week, Molly “succumbs to the virus,” which is just not something a father wants for his daughter, and that brings out “long forgotten memories.” On second thought, those are the best kinds of viruses. Extant!
Dating Naked: Playing For Keeps (VH1, 9 p.m.): The latest episode of this sophomore season of Dating Naked is titled “Big Fights And Bald Heads.” (Last week’s was “Two Young And Too Restless,” and we intentionally ignored that until Dating Naked learned its lesson.) What is going on at VH1? Why does no one ever say, “Remember when VH1 played music,” even though VH1 always played more music than MTV? Why are people playing for keeps with big fights and bald heads?
Celebrity Wife Swap (ABC, 10 p.m.): Why are we so intrigued by the idea of a Tommy Davidson/Corey Feldman wife swap? This question honestly might take up all of our Wednesday night.
The Exes (TV Land, 11 p.m.): The Exes is also on tonight.
Despicable Me (ABC Family, 6 p.m.): What is a Minion?
Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (HBO Family West, 6:40 p.m.): “The multicolored superteens return to stop a fatal femme.” We were already going to try to sell you on this for nostalgia’s sake, but with a description like that—besides the whole “multicolored” thing, what exactly is the difference between “fatal femme” and “femme fatale”?—we think our work here is done. Remember to come back and discuss the oddly sexual nature of that “fatal femme” known as Divatox.
The Haunting In Connecticut 2: Ghosts Of Georgia (Syfy, 7 p.m.): Yes, the only reason we’re recommending this is because we’re a pro-Abigail Spencer bunch (and we already miss Rectify so, so much), but we’re also still so in love with the conflicting title of this movie. We understand the concept of wanting to make a franchise, but to do this, we don’t understand why it couldn’t just be called The Haunting In Georgia. Does Chad Michael Murray know the answer? He probably knows the answer.
Women’s International Friendly Soccer: U.S. vs. Costa Rica (ESPN2, 6:55 p.m.)
MLB Baseball: Tigers at Cubs (ESPN, 8 p.m.)
NASCAR Camping World Truck Series: From Bristol, Tenn. (FS1, 8:30 p.m.)
Little League Softball World Series: Championships (ESPN2, 9 p.m.)
WWE NXT (WWE Network, 8 p.m.)
Impact Wrestling (Destination America, 9 p.m.)
Ring Of Honor (Destination America, 11 p.m.)
Playing House: Is turning dance battles into emotional catalysts!