Sarah Palin's transformation into an un-self-aware version of Snooki is near complete. According to Variety, Palin's reality show might have been sold to Discovery for $1 million (or 100,000 Bump-Its) per episode. Now all that remains is for Sarah Palin to pass the Discovery Channel Reality Host All-Stars initiation—an afternoon of harvesting bat guano, followed by a drawn-out re-enactment of a surprise pregnancy that ends with giving birth on the cement floor of a campground bathroom, then crawling inside the warm, rotting carcass of a dead camel to sleep for the night, all while Mike Rowe, Bear Grylls, and the re-enacters from I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant chant "One of us! One of us!"—and she will officially be a shameless infotainment peddler.
In case you're wondering what the show's going to be about, it's going to be "Sarah Palin's Alaska," so basically lots of stunning Alaskan landscapes dotted with post-it notes that read "Sarah's."
"Sarah Palin's Alaska" will center on interesting characters, traditions and attractions in the 49th state — with the ex-VP candidate as a guide. Burnett and Palin pitched the show to all four major networks — but given the travelogue nature of the series, cable expressed more interest in the project.
Interesting Alaskan attractions like the river where Sarah Palin first fell in love with her own reflection and almost drowned trying to chase it, and fascinating Alaskan traditions like becoming Governor of Alaska then quitting so you can sell a show about Alaska to Discovery Channel for buckets of Bump-Its per episode.
Discovery ultimately made the most sense — as the channel's hit "Deadliest Catch" is also shot in Palin Country. And Palin also happened to make a brief appearance on Discovery's 2008 doc "Toughest Race on Earth: Iditarod" — shot before she became a household name.
Palin may have also been concerned over being lumped in with some of A&E's stars — such as Gene Simmons or Dog the Bounty Hunter. On the flip side, as A&E focuses on interesting characters and their lives, a travelogue hosted by Palin might have been a strange fit.
I'm sure Gene Simmons was the concerned party here. Anyway, Discovery is a great fit for Sarah Palin's Alaska Is Mine. After all, Discovery's many channels are home to only the best freak shows.