Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Thursday, October 9. All times are Eastern.
Regular Show (Cartoon Network, 7:30 p.m.): Hey, Regular Show is back! The Cartoon Network shows are such a regular fixture of our lives that we sometimes forget they go away for brief hiatuses so that their creators can have vacations. Tonight Mordecai, Rigby, and the rest of the parks crew is back for a sixth season, starting with tonight’s “Maxin’ And Relaxin’.” Mordecai wants to get a mixtape from his parents’ house… and Ed Begley, Jr. and Katey Segal show up to help? Alasdair Wilkins, as usual, is on duty.
Look, it has been a long week for some members of What’s On Tonight, as going to a Gone Girl screening gave us some kind of sinus infection that refuses to go away and so we’re desperately behind on work and unable to muster up much enthusiasm for anything that isn’t watching The X-Files season five, “Redux” parts one and two oh my god oh my god oh my god. In an effort to produce literally anything worth reading on this site this What’s On Tonight has taken a little bit of a hit. But hark, the collective first-person narration must go on! We do not go gentle into that good night. But just, you know, apologies for the loopiness that is coming out the very pores of this What’s On Tonight.
Battlestar Galactica (2 p.m.): We’re at the last review before the two-part season one finale, “Kobol’s Last Gleaming.” That puts us at “Hand Of God” and “Colonial Day,” two episodes about post-Cylon Holocaust humans trying to make war and politics and stuff work for them. They are both ‘shippy as all hell, which is the best part, but Sonia Saraiya promises she will not spend hours upon hours only writing about that.
Grey’s Anatomy (ABC, 8 p.m.): Wait a minute, we were joking about that Alex/Meredith stuff, but it sort of seems like maybe the show is not joking about that Alex/Meredith stuff, and holy God, how many more plot twists can this show take? (The answer: INFINITE.)
The This Old House Hour (PBS, 8 p.m.): The The This Old House Hour’s TV Guide summaries are really calming, after the soapiness of the rest of television: Exterior walls are bowing outward but getting fixed, floors are lowered and raised, radiant heat-insulation systems are installed. And: “replacing a vinyl peel-and-stick floor with ceramic tile.” Swoon.
The Vampire Diaries (The CW, 8 p.m.): Okay, we thought we were above copy-pasting, but not today. “Elena deals with the loss of Damon and turns to Alaric to help her move on with her life. Meanwhile, Enzo gets Caroline to help him find Damon and Bonnie; Jeremy spends time with a mysterious girl who recently arrived in Mystic Falls; and Damon and Bonnie reluctantly band together to uncover the mystery of where they are and how they are going to get back home.“
Bad Judge (NBC, 9 p.m.): The majority of this episode is about Rebecca’s relationship with her weird van—and her court officer? But just to be clear, it is called “Meteor Shower.”
Project Runway (Lifetime, 9 p.m.): Right before Fashion Week, eliminated designers return to haunt us. That’s always the scariest part, the unpleasant time traveling, the betrayal of everything we hold dear.
Black Jesus (Adult Swim, 11 p.m.): “WTFWBJD” asks, What The Fuck Would Black Jesus Do? Which is a question we’ve all had from time to time, right?
Thursday Night Football (CBS, 8:25 p.m.): Colts at Texans. If you had asked us, a few days ago, whether or not the team “Houston Texans” was made up, we probably would have been like, “hey, is this like the time that you said gullible was written on the ceiling but then it really was written on the ceiling?” and then we would have refused to look at the ceiling. But it actually was on the ceiling, and so the Houston Texans are actually a real team, and we are the butt of every joke, just like in high school. Now, to stare broodily into the distance.
Black-ish: The third episode of this show included a bizarre axe-in-head hospital scene that a tiny adorable child used as inspiration to become a doctor and also a very large bonsai thing used as an extra-credit project. Pilot Viruet is probably less sick and therefore paid more attention to this episode, which she’ll tell you very soon.