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Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Project Runway: "Rock N' Runway"

Illustration for article titled iProject Runway/i: Rock N Runway
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Illustration for article titled iProject Runway/i: Rock N Runway

Bravo Poll: Based on the scowl on Kenley's face, when do you think this photo of the designers was taken?

A. Right after the runway show and judging, when the judges did their best to topple the giant gramophone in Kenley's head that's constantly playing affirmations.

B. Right after Kenley realized that she's just doomed to be a misunderstood genius, cause no one will ever get what she's trying to do, cause they just won't listen to her.

C. What scowl? That's just Kenley's face at rest.

D. Scowlicious!

I'm not sure when they shoot these runway photos for the website, but since Kenley is wearing the same unhappy, pouting scowl in all of them, I would guess that it's a combination of A, B, and C.

Oh, Kenley. Honestly, can you get any worse? Has there ever been a contestant on Project Runway who possessed so much grating self-confidence–arrogance, really–but yet so little actual talent? Christian Siriano, last season's winner, was very grating and he basically oozed self-confidence, but he at least was a very skilled designer. Kenley is, at best, a sad rehash of Betsey Johnson, and at worst an FIT student who makes "vintage" dresses out of old upholstery to sell to Urban Outfitters. The original Project Runway villain, Wendy Pepper, wasn't a very interesting or innovative designer, and she seemed pretty confident–but even she listened to Tim. Wendy Pepper's arrogance never gave way to out-and-out rudeness towards the very people she was trying to impress–unlike Kenley who, whenever faced with even the slightest criticism, unleashes a verbal barrage of whiney excuses, hoping to drown out any voice but her own (it's easier to hear the gramophone of affirmations in her head that way).

Tonight, for the dress one of your fellow designers as a genre of music challenge, Kenley's excuses included: Leanne is a poser (wait…you mean Leanne isn't actually into hip hop?) who is not selling the look, and thereby ruining her outfit. Kenley was going for, you know, "classy, expensive" hip-hop, not that oversized hip-hop that makes people look like fools. Kenley could make a better outfit if she had three days, not one. Tim doesn't understand her.

But no excuse in the world could distract from the fact that Kenley's hip-hop look had nothing to do with hip-hop, and even less to do with attractive proportions and halfway decent (or interesting) design. High-waisted jeans with a bunched, twisted, and just wrong crotch, a hideous floral print tank top, and a shrunken leather jacket? Michael Kors was right to call it a very "mall" aesthetic, more specifically, it's the Strawberry sale section.

Further down in the mall, just past the food court, is Wet Seal, where you could very easily find Jerell's pop look for Kenley. For as much as the judges were gushing, you would think that Jerell didn't just re-make one of Ginger Spice's costumes from Spice World. Yes, it was definitely pop, but the fur vest and especially the shiny short skirt weren't very flattering. Nina's assessment of "Sexy but not vulgar," was kind of hilarious considering the whole thing was made out of netting.

The punk look that Korto made for Suede was the clear winner, if only because her details were so well-done, and so highly visible. The (very) distressed jeans, the clawed suede shirt, all the chains, the way she avoided putting a dog collar on him–she definitely deserved to win.

As for the country look that Leanne made for Korto, it did indeed look country, but not too country. It was lukewarm Loretta Lynn, but at least it fit well. Suede's "Lenny Kravitz" rock look for Jerell fit tight, a little too tight, but it was also a little too blah. (Although, if Suede's rock inspiration for Suede was Lenny Kravitz, then he hit the nail right on the boring, droning, contrast-crotch-zipper-wearing, head.) In the end, the judges found Suede's Suedocity too dull, and they sent him home. The judges gave Kenley's horrific hip-hop look a pass because, they decided, "she was probably freaked out" by the idea of designing something that she's not used to. Isn't that the point of the show? Well, whatever. I guess if you act like a whiney, spoiled, entitled brat enough times, people will eventually start making excuses for you and treating you like the immature child that you are. If nothing else, it's a time-saver!

Grade: B

Stray Observations:

—Did everyone catch that Suede says Suede is a classical cellist?

—Even though it just feeds Kenley's voracious appetite for victimhood, I love that all of the designers clearly dislike Kenley. Jerell nodding in approval at whatever "hip-hop" accessories Kenley pulled out was great.

—Speaking of "hip-hop," what did they do to Leanne's hair? She looked like Judy Jetson. And contrary to Kenley's claim, Leanne was second only to Suede in terms of "selling" her outfit.

—LL Cool J: Style icon. Of course. Because muscles are a style?

—Speaking of LL, did anyone else find his (repeated) comments about Kenley and wanting to see more of her skin a little creepy? We get it, LL: you like brats.

—"I don't think the judges will notice [the crotch]." Right, Kenley. Because the judges never talk about crotches. It's their favorite word, right after "looks cheap."

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