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Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Illustration for article titled iProject Runway/i: Raw Talent
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Illustration for article titled iProject Runway/i: Raw Talent

All I can say about this fierce episode is that it brought the fierceness with such fierce-itude that all the fierces in fierce-town fiercely died when fierce-fronted with the sheer volume of fierce ferocity within this fierce-fierce. In other words, as Christian so meaninglessly put it:

"Is it fierce? It better be fierce."

Yes, Christian. The episode was fierce. Though by your definition, so is virtually everything else. He really knows how to throttle all the life and meaning out a word until it's just a sad pile of letters. I know he'll be upset to learn that Fierce Couture already exists (though, to my and Google's knowledge, "Ferosh Couture" is still unclaimed. Perhaps Christian should concentrate on using that word to death from now on).

Still, despite drowning in fierces, I did enjoy this challenge, if only because it very plainly had nothing whatsoever to do with fashion, and everything to do with manipulating spandex with a touch more inventiveness than is required for making stripper-wear. Really, this was a nice break. No gowns. No running across warehouses or fields. No "transform this piece of clothing into a different piece of clothing." No interpretations. It was just Divas™, "Spandex House," sexual and/or violent grunts, and the judges' palpable discomfort.

After all, as Chris put it, "What is Nina Garcia going to say about a pink Spandex outfit with rhinestones all over it?" The answer: "I hate the color." I too hated the color of Rami's pepto-bismol-covered, slutty Tinkerbell look, but is that a valid criterion for judging a WWE costume? Not really. It all looks objectively horrible and trashy, but of course that's why this challenge was fun. I wish the judges had come up with a rating scale specifically for this challenge ranging from Acceptably Trampy (high, both Christian's Tina Turner/catwoman outfit and Chris's skimpy, glamour boxer look would have fallen here, as well as Jillian's blue-and-white, futuristic Rollerball look) to Trashy Halloween Costume (middle, whatever Rami's pink outfit was) to Stripper (low, definitely Sweet P's sparkly pajamas ensemble). But even if the judges had graded on such a scale, Ricky still would have been out, because his orange one-piece outfit was lower than Stripper: It was Wannabe Video Ho.

The most puzzling part about this episode? Ricky didn't cry at his elimination! Of all the times to not turn on the tears! His bone-dry tear ducts were almost aggressive at the end. You could almost see him thinking, "My tears are mine. I won't give them the satisfaction of seeing me cry for an even 1000th time." And he didn't. Thankfully.

In summary: Ricky is out. Chris (the only truly likeable designer) rightfully won. And the challenge had nothing to do with fashion, but everything to do with an sponsor (the WWE). All is right on Project Runway–at least until they ruin it all over again next week.

Grade: A

Stray Observations:

—Blockbuster Total Access–whatever that is–really got their money's worth in this episode. Apparently, it's a service that shows WWE clips to spacey people on a tiny TV. It should do really well.

—Did everyone notice how gingerly Tim Gunn rang the ringside bell? It was like he didn't want to hurt it.

—Kara Saun is still contractually obligated to find the beach inspiring? I thought she would have moved on to a mountain or a cliff or a vintage store by now.

—Christian somehow managed to work a puffy sleeve jacket into a WWE costume. He is dedicated.

—My prediction for final three: Christian, Jillian (and her meds), Rami. But, really, the only one I'm interested in at all is Chris. If he doesn't make it, the show will just be slowness, excessive drapery, and "fierce" on loop.


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