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Illustration for article titled iProject Runway/i: On Garde!
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Illustration for article titled iProject Runway/i: On Garde!

Ok, Project Runway producers. We understand. You run the show, and not the judges. But will keeping your audience in a constant state of outrage by consistently kicking off good designers while steadily holding on to Ricky Of The Weeping Hats really motivate people to keep watching? I don't know. Maybe it actually will. At this point, every episode is just biding time to see when Ricky and his hats will finally be eliminated. I wouldn't be surprised if the last three contestants showed up at Parsons for the final episode before Fashion Week (ahem, Mercedes Benz Fashion Week), and they walked into the work room to find Ricky standing in a puddle of his own tears, wearing a Golden Immunity Tiara specially made for him by the producers, and cry-shouting, "Guess what? I'm going to Fashion Week too!"

Granted, this elimination wasn't as unfair as last week's. The designers were working in pairs, and Kit was the team leader, and Kit's hair-inspired avant-garde look was easily, definitely the worst. The second she said, "Are you going to work on the apron?" it was obvious she was going to be in trouble. The end result was a dress that wasn't so much art, as it was a real-size costume for Confused Antebellum Prairie Fashion Barbie.

The ready-to-wear look of Team Tats 'n Tears was similarly awful, like a sorority garden party dress gone stupid. But Ricky was responsible for that dress. He made it, not Kit. And he obviously must have contributed something to the design and execution of the couture gown, because it sucked so much. Really, it was beyond his time to go—especially since Kit has been flying under the judges' radar for weeks now. I guess she should have demonstrated more of a passion for millinery and sobbing if she wanted to stay.

As for the other teams, Chris and Christian's "Team Fierce" (aka Team Mixed Feelings or Team I Like One And I Hate The Other) deserved to win. Their beige, ruffly, threatened lizard couture gown was far-and-away the most avant-garde, and their ready-to-wear ensemble was very cute (especially for aspiring sexy librarians). Team Icy, Victorya and Jillian, succeeded in making the plaid-trimmed trench coat that everyone will wear during the apocalypse, but the rest of it was really a mixed bag. Since when are jodhpurs avant-garde? Overall, Team Icy's couture look was a slightly updated take on En Vogue's "Free Your Mind." (You know exactly what I'm talking about.) And their ready-to-wear dress looked like two dresses from the club-wear section of Forever 21 put in a blender and then sewn together.

As for Team Angry Rami P, their belted grey minidress was as cute as their couture gown over terrible pants look was confusing. (Side note: why can't the dress over pants thing just collapse into the gutter that it's been hobbling toward for years and just die?)

Overall, this challenge was maybe the most fashion-y one yet on Project Runway: creating both couture and pret-a-porter looks (though in true Project Runway style, the looks had to be "inspired" by something from an advertiser, Tressemme). If only it could have been judged solely on fashion, instead of on "leadership," and number of tears shed over course of the whole competition.

Grade: B-

Stray Observations:

—Don't you love how the level of hair-inspiration was never mentioned on the runway, even though it was supposedly part of the criteria for judging? Tressemme must feel like they've been robbed.

—Christian's outfit for the runway show: waiter at a Flock Of Seagulls theme restaurant.

—"We have three looks! We should win! Ha Ha" Naturally Team Icy would only thaw in front of the judges. Victorya and Jillian are the worst kind of suck-ups.

—Is anyone else terrified of the woman from the Millionaire Matchmaker? Her face is so long that it stretches into my nightmares.

—Which Rami do you prefer: Brooding Rami or Bitchy Rami? Neither? Ok, just checking.


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