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Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Illustration for article titled iProject Runway/i: Eye Candy
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Illustration for article titled iProject Runway/i: Eye Candy

Has Project Runway been away so long that Jillian developed a personality (besides, of course, deep-seated evil cloaked in retro-wear)? Or was that just careful editing to make everyone feel sorry for her, so that the audience would be happy for her when her TwizzDress 2000 worked out in the end? Hint: It was just careful editing. Why else would they show her almost breaking in two trying to carry nearly half her weight (62 pounds) of Twizzlers?

I mean, it was hard not to root for Jillian to pull together her garment in this episode because, well, it was a candy store challenge she was the only one who used actual candy to construct her outfit. The only one. Everyone else chose to rip open Hershey's bar pillows, and pull the stuffing out of puffy silver kisses, giving the majority of the outfits a highly unappealing palette of brown and silver. There were puffy silver astronaut dresses that looked like they came with their own diapers (Ricky's), a floating silver and white boredom (Sweet Pea's), a futuristic milkmaid costume for "ice princesses" (Victorya's), a chic silver and brown suit (Kevin's), whatever that velvet brown/dislocated puff sleeve dress was (Elisa's, the obvious loser), and a very slick, very cool, but very brown get-up from Fattie Chris. The contestants who used the candy wrappers fashioned more interesting looking garments, like Rami's robot cigarette girl look, Kit's punk rolling in the garbage look, and Christian's cute Reese's wrapper dress.

But Jillian had the clear advantage here because she made an outfit out of a difficult material: candy. It's the perfect defense. The bustier doesn't fit very well? It's made out of fucking candy. The fringe skirt/bustier combination is a little too much look? It's made out of fucking candy. The fringe seems a little sparse in places? Well, yeah, cause it's made out of fucking candy. I'm almost surprised (but very grateful) that Rami's intricate paper dress won out over her uninspired TwizzDress 2000. (I say "uninspired" because what else would you make out of Twizzlers besides fringe? It's an obvious choice, like making a skirt out of wide leaves, or bra out of coconut shells, or fake nipples out of some well-placed Reese's Pieces.)

I still don't trust Jillian. I still believe she is poised for villainy, and that one day I'll be able to use the word "Jilliainy" in these reviews and have everyone know exactly what I'm talking about. After all, why is she so catatonic? Why does she only abandon that monotone when she's talking to the judges? And what was the deal with that shot of her backstage pulling her hair for an uncomfortably long time? She's as weird as Fattie Chris is giggly, Ricky is emotional, Kevin and Kit are awesome, and Christian is terribly, terribly annoying.

Grade: B+

Stray Observations:

—Did anyone else notice an unusual amount of filler in this episode? It seemed like certain sequences (The contestants getting ready to leave, the Tim Gunn wake-up call, the models visiting the L'Oreal Paris make-up room/Tressemme hair salon) were lengthier than normal, but without any kind of pay-off.

—Zac Posen: Irritating like Poison Oak on the backs of your knees, or irritating like cleaning your ears with q-tips made of sandpaper?

—I can't prove it, but I'm pretty sure Elisa put a spell on Heidi before she left. Either that, or she was just mumbling something about natural embuing.

—Surprisingly, the Ricky (and his hats) cry count is holding steady at 31. Though the preview for the next episode promises a big increase.

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