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Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Project Runway: "Even Designers Get The Blues"

Illustration for article titled iProject Runway/i: Even Designers Get The Blues
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Illustration for article titled iProject Runway/i: Even Designers Get The Blues

I don't know about y'all, but the first thing I did the second after this episode aired, was go to Levis.com/project501 so that I could (fingers crossed!) be the first one to buy Ricky's denim corset ruffle dress and cry all over it. Just think how absorbent it must be! Alas, the site wasn't up yet, but I figure I can probably find something similar—though probably far less tear-ready—at Wet Seal the next time I'm wandering around a mall in a fit of depression (which is, after all, the only state for mall wandering).

So, uh, Ricky? A winner? Can you believe that? Of course you can, because as we learned last week, the producers are clearly enamored with he of the watery eyes and dumb hats (which he apparently makes himself, sometimes out of denim, other times out of mesh and emotions). Still, it was the judges who seemed to be in love with Ricky this week, gushing all over his "fresh," "clean," Amy Winehouse-y look. (The Amy Winehouse accolade seemed particularly weird because 1. Since when is looking like Amy Winehouse a positive? and 2. Just five minutes earlier, they attacked Chris's dress for looking too "dated." Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Amy Winehouse's look just recycled 60s girl-group cast-off cut with crack?)

But the judges' misplaced praise didn't stop there. They loved, loved Sweet P's rainbow denim tube dress, which fit terribly and, yes, still looked pretty "hippy dippy." Frankly, it resembled a flower-child wedding dress cut short, which makes sense because that's exactly what it was. Overall, I thought Chris's chic denim halter dress (there's a difference between "dated" and "classic" that the judges don't understand) was cute (if boring), and that Rami's wandering zipper dress and (sigh) Christian's Frankenstein motocross look were the best—or at least the most interesting.

Honestly, most of the outfits this challenge were pretty dull because, well, it was a very dull challenge. Use jeans to make a jean outfit that shows something iconic about jeans? Thanks, Levis. That doesn't even make sense. Even the Project Runway producers knew it was a dull challenge, which is why they drove the designers all the way out to an abandoned warehouse on the Brooklyn waterfront to make them run to get the jeans. It was a mad dash towards boredom!

Still, this episode was great for three reasons:

1. Victorya's hilariously lazy outfit. Apparently, the way you make a trench coat is by sewing a denim sack onto an old jean jacket. It was like she thought, "I don't give a shit," and somehow those words magically draped around the form to create that garment.

2. Victorya's elimination. The "y" is for "Yes! She and her puffybutt skirts and dresses are gone!" And

3. Jillian's bitchery, general insanity, and breakdown. First, she whines about how Victorya is stealing her "coat idea" because, uh, they were both making coats. Poor, bitchy Jillian: A coat is not an idea or concept, it is a thing—an article of clothing that designers make and people wear. That's like a writer getting mad at another writer for stealing their "short story idea," because they both happen to be writing short stories. Then, she broke down at the sewing machine because she was stabbing her fingertips and "bleeding everywhere." Rami comes over, looks at her hands, and says "Where? I don't see the blood." Oh Rami, don't you see? The blood is in her mind. How great was that? (Answer: pretty great) Jillian might as well have started talking about the giant invisible bugs crawling all over her skin, or how the blackboard told her to make another Mad Max coat while everyone was sleeping.

The meds that keep her mind and body running 10 minutes behind everyone else are clearly no match for the stress of Project Runway. She needs to up her dosage so she can get back up to slow.

Grade: A-

Stray Observations:

—Awww. Rami used to be a little girl!

—"It's so cute to see youth." Chris is the best thing about this show right now, if only for the quips. And the likeability.

—"My name's not Kit! My name's not Kit!" Apparently, if Victorya has seen one tatooed competitor, she's seen them all.

—"I'm going to die of barfness!" Please do it, Christian.

—Quick poll (since this is a Bravo show): Which commercial is more annoying? The Bluefly.com naked woman going through airport security (such a relevant comment about our times, you know?), or the Levi's ripping-clothes-off-through-the-decades commercial?

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