Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Friday, March 9, and Saturday, March 10. All times are Eastern.

Portlandia (IFC, 10 p.m., Friday):
The second season of Portlandia ends as all things must: at brunch. The show’s second season has been sometimes rocky, never quite hitting the heights of its first season, but, then, the second season was almost double the number of episodes, so there was a lot more space to fill. Christian Williams goes for a nice brunch with Fred and Carrie and asks himself if sketch comedy is better in more concentrated doses, or if it works well to have a bunch of episodes in which to try new things. One thing’s for sure: We’ll be having the Moon Over My Hammy. The rest of you order. Christian’s graciously offered to pick up the tab.


Grimm (NBC, 9 p.m., Friday):
“An arson-related homicide investigation brings Nick and Hank to the world of Portland fire dancing,” reads the description. We can’t think of anything that sounds like a better lead-in to Portlandia than that. Kevin McFarland only dances with the devil in the pale moonlight.

Spartacus: Vengeance (Starz, 10 p.m., Friday): Tonight’s episode is called “Sacramentum,” which is what happens when you build a soapbox derby racer out of communion wafers. Now we’ve got ourselves wondering how you would build one of those. Ryan McGee can be on our squad!


Saturday Night Live (NBC, 11:30 p.m., Saturday): Jonah Hill hosts, with musical guests The Shins performing. David Sims would like you to know that that band will change your life, sure, but something else will change it even more, and that’s Jonah Hill’s performance in Night At The Museum 2.

Angel (1 p.m., Friday):
A bunch of spirits are trying to drag Spike back to Hell where he belongs, which sucks for him. Noel Murray thinks that when you’re disobeying the laws of the other plane like that, you have to expect that there will be consequences. Then again, he’s a level five arcanist, so, y’know.


The Adventures Of Pete And Pete (3 p.m., Friday): Teddy comes to stay over with the Petes, and to the sadness of everyone, it turns out that “excellente” is just about the last word you could use to describe the visit. Marah Eakin doesn’t care. She’s still using the word “excellente” to describe everything.

The Twilight Zone (1 p.m., Saturday): Zack Handlen wonders just how many episodes of this show were written when Rod Serling looked at a random object and said to himself, “What if I had a version of that that could tell the future?” We’re glad he didn’t exist to see the smart phone and annoy us about that.

Jessie (Disney, 8 p.m., Friday):
In tonight’s episode of yet another inexplicably popular kids show, “Jessie is shunned by New York’s most intimidating nanny.” Goodness. What is she to do? Where is she to go? She’ll be out on her fanny. Oh, just wake us up when she’s randomly yelling, “Look out, CeCe!”


The Mentalist (CBS, 9 p.m., Friday): We’re not entirely sure why CBS is burning off a new episode of this show on a Friday night, but the network seems sort of smugly pleased about the fact, like, “Fuck you guys. We’re CBS. We can air new episodes of one of our most popular dramas on Friday for no reason.”

On Death Row (Investigation Discovery, 10 p.m., Friday): Investigation Discovery wanted to be in the Werner Herzog business, so they commissioned this four-part documentary about death row inmates from the always-enjoyable German director. He also narrates, so you know that will be fun.

Comedy Bang Bang (IFC, 10:30 p.m., Friday): Check out this special 15-minute preview version of the new television series based on the popular podcast. We’ll do a full review whenever the show officially debuts, but here’s a chance to see it early and brag to all your friends. Who could also see it early.


Elevator Girl (Hallmark, 8 p.m., Saturday): Lacey Chabert is a girl who gets stuck in an elevator with a guy, and after they initially find themselves disliking each other, sparks fly eventually, and they end up falling in love (we presume). Man, they must be stuck in that elevator for several weeks.

Game Change (HBO, 9 p.m., Saturday): Jay Roach directs this Danny Strong script based on the best-selling book about the 2008 campaign for president. Actually, the film is just based on the book’s last third or so, about the McCain/Palin campaign. Scott Tobias has a look at all the political impressions.

United 93/Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World (HBO Signature, 7:05 p.m., Friday): Here are two very good, recent movies for you to watch, right in a row. And, yeah, we’d recommend both of them, but man, they couldn’t have any less in common. We can’t imagine the shift between them not being jarring.


Darkman (Cinemax, 7:20 p.m., Friday): Sam Raimi directed this cult classic superhero flick, with Liam Neeson as a scientist whose experiments give him the sort of superpowers we’re still asking all our research scientist buddies to give us. Listen. Guys. We’d settle for just the strength of a wombat.

Alice In Wonderland (ABC Family, 6 p.m., Saturday): There have been some pretty bad movies to reach the $1 billion worldwide box office plateau, but we would argue that none—no, not even the fourth Pirates Of The Caribbean—was as bad as this one. And if you doubt us, well, watch this clip. Then think about what it's done to our children.

College Basketball (ESPN/ESPN 2/ESPNU, 7 p.m., Friday): March Madness draws ever nearer, and if you’re looking for some big games this weekend, you shouldn’t have to look further than the ESPN suite of channels for tournaments, with the Big East on ESPN, the ACC on ESPN2, and the Big 12 on ESPNU.


Motocross: AMA Supercross in Daytona (Speed, 7:30 p.m., Saturday): If you’re not in the mood for college hoops, there’s not much else in the way of sports for you this weekend in primetime. However, there’s always motocross there to help you out. Good old motocross! It’s never let you down, has it?

Person Of Interest (Thursday):
Yeah, we abandoned this show months ago, but Phil Dyess-Nugent jumped back in for Thursday’s episode because it sure sounded like it was about a killer baby. Was it? Well, you’ll just have to read his review to find out. We wouldn’t tell you here.