Can you believe it's been five years since Brad? People magazine obviously can't. That's why they're throwing Jennifer Aniston a special 5-year pity-party anniversary—and we're all invited.

Five years of documenting Jennifer Aniston's obvious, constant sadness.  Five years of wondering how Jennifer Aniston manages to contain the rivers of swirling envy that are now her core. Time really does fly when you're imagining the cold, lonely desolation that is Jennifer Aniston's certain, unchangeable destiny. Why, it seems like only yesterday that Jennifer Aniston was transformed into a beige pillar of tears right before our eyes.

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Thank you, People, for this reminder that no matter what Jennifer Aniston does, no matter how beige she gets, we will always think of her in terms of that terrible event known as Brad.

Brad: Never Forget.